"i lik the bred"

"i lik the bred"

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Updated Jul 12, 2020 at 02:49AM EDT by Y F.

Added Jan 19, 2017 at 12:22PM EST by Adam.

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"i lik the bred" is a series of short poems about a domesticated cow written by British author Sam Garland,[8] better known by his Reddit handle Poem_for_your_sprog,[9] in response to a storytime thread about the worst code violations that public health inspectors have seen while on the job. Due to the abundance of absurdism and misspellings of words in the text, Garland's poem has been widely celebrated and parodied on Reddit and Tumblr since October 2016.


On October 25th, 2016, a now-deactivated Redditor began a new storytime post on /r/AskReddit, asking the "health inspectors of Reddit" to share their stories about the worst code violations they have seen on the job. In response to the thread, Redditor Chamale[1] told a story about his step father working as a baker in an authentic 18th century recreation of a New French fortress. After convincing the health inspector that the kitchen was as health-conscious as possible without sacrificing the integrity of the 18th-century recreation, the inspector spotted a cow roaming around the fortress and licking all the bread. Redditor poem_for_your_sprog, whose gimmick is to respond to comments by turning their content into poems, wrote a poem[2] in response to the story (shown below). The comment gained over 15,000 points (90% upvoted) prior to being archived.

my name is Cow,
and wen its nite,
or wen the moon
is shiyning brite,
and all the men
haf gon to bed -
i stay up late.
i lik the bred.


Garland's poem became an instant hit on /r/poem_for_your_sprog[3], a fan-made subreddit devoted to his poems launched in December 2013, as well as among other alt-lit and poetry-related circles on Reddit and Tumblr. On the day Garland posted the poem on Reddit, Tumblr user phantomrose96[5] posted a screenshot of the poem, which gained more than 127,000 notes within three months.

↑ Chamale 6403 points 12 hours ago My stepdad used to be a baker in an authentic recreation of an 18th century New French fortress. Because they sell bread to the public, the health inspector came by, and she was ripping into my stepdad for violations like the stonework walls, the doorless entranceways, or the lack of a mosquito zapper. He pointed out that they were following the highest standards except for things that would destroy the authenticity of this 18th-century bakery. The health inspector relented and agreed to give him a pass after verifying the food storage area was secure. They went to the shed, which was a doorless building attached to the bakery As the health inspector went in, there happened to be an escaped cow licking all of the loaves. My stepdad could only say, "Honestly, this never happens." They passed the health inspection dr: Health inspector witnesses escaped farm animal licking all the bread in a bakery, passes health inspection anyway permalink embed save report give gold reply [-) Poem-for-your sprog 6409 points 10 hours ago @x4 my name is Cow, and wen its nite, or wen the moon is shiyning brite, and all the men haf gon to bed i stay up late. i lik the bred ↑

In the following months, ironic appreciation for Garland's poem continued to gain momentum on Tumblr, inspiring many parodies, artworks and other works of tribute.[6] On November 13th, 2016, Soundcloud artist Hindulaatti uploaded a song[4] with lyrics borrowed from various poems by Redditor poem_for_your_sprog, including "i lik the bred," sung in doggo speak.

On January 17th, 2017, Tumblr user Sashayed[7] posted one of the most popular parodies of the original poem in which the cow licks cats instead of bread, accruing more than 17,000 notes in less than 48 hours.

My name is Calfe & Im too young to k now yet what do with my Toung! So till my Mom say "Dont Do That!" IlIl stick it out And lik this cat.

Various Examples

calliefield Follow my name is Dog and betwixt the sheet i fynd the toeses they smell so sweet i bide my tym and take a beat and then i stryk i lik the feet ghost-ass Follow my name is zak and late at nite f yu own a scary site leev yur house and go ahed lock me in I fite the ded deadmomjokes Follow I'm just a hyoomin Here to say: This meeme has tooke My breth away Pleese keep it up Until I'm ded By cow and frends Who lik the bred. captain-trashcan Follow My name is cow And in the day Tu wish him well Wen he go play With tender hart And gentle tung I bid farewell I lik my son outskirts-of-nowhere Follow my name is dog and wen i see a littel snek rite next tu me, altho he sez "on me dont tred" i walk rite up and lik his hed pepperandpals Follow My name is byrd And wen it day Or wen the sun A shiyning ray I donut take A single rest I sit in shirt I gard the chest

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