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Three Seashells

Added 9 years ago / Updated 5 days ago
Three_seashells

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Real-world bathroom toilet paper with the 3 seashells visible and present
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The 3 Seashells Artifact G: Clean target player's asshoe. Any player that doesn't know how to use The 3 Seashells shall be ridiculed and humiliated "He doesn't know how to use The 3 Seashells!" Rob Schneider Illus. Azn Badger Aan Badger's Blog, 2011 28/29
i-mockery.com presents How touse the Three Seashells Step 1: Take two of the seashells and place them between your fingers to be used like chopsticks. Step 2: Using the two seashells, gently pull on feces to remove them from your /posterior until bowels have been completely emptied. Ssing the third Step 3: seashell, Scrape away any fecal remnants from your posterior. Step 4: Dispose of all three seashells in toilet and flush. *Important Note: Do not violate the verbal morality statute in an attempt to use printed tickets as archaic toilet paper. Any attempts to do so will be reported to the San Angeles police department. *please direct all questions about the Three Seashells to i-mockery.com
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he doesn't know how to use the three seashells image macro meme
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About • Origin • Spread • Search Interest • External References • Recent Images • Recent Videos

About

The Three Seashells are a mysterious set of seashells which have replaced toilet tissue in the 1993 science fiction action film Demolition Man. Online, many fan theories have arisen attempting to explain the function of the shells.

Origin

On October 8th, 1993, the film Demolition Man was released, in which the protagonist John Spartan (played by Sylvester Stallone) expresses confusion when he discovers that toilet tissue has been replaced by three seashells after awakening 36 years in the future (shown below). The proper use of the seashells is never explained in the film.

Spread

In 2007, the Internet humor site I-Mockery[4] published an infographic with instructions on using the three seashells. On February 8th, 2008, Urban Dictionary[8] user Tot submitted an entry for "Three Sea Shells." On April 16th, 2013, Redditor Samo1415 submitted a picture of a toilet paper holder with three seashells placed above it to /r/funny[7] (shown below). Prior to being archived, the post gained over 1,900 votes (82% upvoted) and 120 comments.

Real-world bathroom toilet paper with the 3 seashells visible and present

In August, the artist Tailsteak[5] published a blog post which speculated how the seashells could be used. In October, actress Sandra Bullock discussed the three seashells during an interview with MTV (shown below).

“Well, think of a bidet, right? There’s several processes. You have number one, you have number two, and then the cleanup.”

On October 14th, 2014, Redditor silverlil submitted a post speculating that the seashells were just buttons for futuristic toilets to the /r/FanTheories[6] subreddit. On December 5th, Redditor Uncleluke2 created a post on /r/movies[7] claiming he heard an explanation of the three seashells during a Q&A session with Demolition Man screenwriter Daniel Waters.

"I won't tell you the actual secret, but I'll tell you where it came from. There's a scene where Stallone has to use a restroom. I'm trying to come up with futuristic things you'd find in there. I was having trouble, so I called my buddy, another screenwriter across town, asked him if he had any ideas. Ironically enough that guy was taking a dump when he answered the phone, looked around his bathroom and said 'I have a bag of seashells on my toilet as a decoration?' I said 'Ok, I'll make something out of that.'"

Search Interest

External References

[1] Reddit – All Reddit threads detailing Three Seashell theories

[2] MTV – Sandra Bullock's Explanation of the Three Seashells

[3] Reddit – Writer Daniel Waters explained the three seashells

[4] I-Mockery – How to Use the Three Seashells (NSFW)

[5] Tailsteak – The Three Seashells

[6] Reddit – An alternative explanation for the three seashells

[7] Reddit – My wife still doesnt know how to use three seashells

[8] Urban Dictionary – Three Sea Shells

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Three Seashells

Three Seashells

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he doesn't know how to use the three seashells image macro meme

About

The Three Seashells are a mysterious set of seashells which have replaced toilet tissue in the 1993 science fiction action film Demolition Man. Online, many fan theories have arisen attempting to explain the function of the shells.

Origin

On October 8th, 1993, the film Demolition Man was released, in which the protagonist John Spartan (played by Sylvester Stallone) expresses confusion when he discovers that toilet tissue has been replaced by three seashells after awakening 36 years in the future (shown below). The proper use of the seashells is never explained in the film.



Spread

In 2007, the Internet humor site I-Mockery[4] published an infographic with instructions on using the three seashells. On February 8th, 2008, Urban Dictionary[8] user Tot submitted an entry for "Three Sea Shells." On April 16th, 2013, Redditor Samo1415 submitted a picture of a toilet paper holder with three seashells placed above it to /r/funny[7] (shown below). Prior to being archived, the post gained over 1,900 votes (82% upvoted) and 120 comments.


Real-world bathroom toilet paper with the 3 seashells visible and present

In August, the artist Tailsteak[5] published a blog post which speculated how the seashells could be used. In October, actress Sandra Bullock discussed the three seashells during an interview with MTV (shown below).



“Well, think of a bidet, right? There’s several processes. You have number one, you have number two, and then the cleanup.”

On October 14th, 2014, Redditor silverlil submitted a post speculating that the seashells were just buttons for futuristic toilets to the /r/FanTheories[6] subreddit. On December 5th, Redditor Uncleluke2 created a post on /r/movies[7] claiming he heard an explanation of the three seashells during a Q&A session with Demolition Man screenwriter Daniel Waters.

"I won't tell you the actual secret, but I'll tell you where it came from. There's a scene where Stallone has to use a restroom. I'm trying to come up with futuristic things you'd find in there. I was having trouble, so I called my buddy, another screenwriter across town, asked him if he had any ideas. Ironically enough that guy was taking a dump when he answered the phone, looked around his bathroom and said 'I have a bag of seashells on my toilet as a decoration?' I said 'Ok, I'll make something out of that.'"

Search Interest

External References

[1] Reddit – All Reddit threads detailing Three Seashell theories

[2] MTV – Sandra Bullock's Explanation of the Three Seashells

[3] Reddit – Writer Daniel Waters explained the three seashells

[4] I-Mockery – How to Use the Three Seashells (NSFW)

[5] Tailsteak – The Three Seashells

[6] Reddit – An alternative explanation for the three seashells

[7] Reddit – My wife still doesnt know how to use three seashells

[8] Urban Dictionary – Three Sea Shells

Recent Videos 25 total

Recent Images 6 total

   

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Jon the Wizard
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Jon the Wizard

I actually really love that line, "he doesn't know how to use the three seashells!" It really sells the whole future aspect of Demolition Man for me. The three seashells is literally their equivalent to wiping your ass, and that Stallone's character doesn't know what the hell to do with them really sells that aspect of being unfamiliar with new technology. Think of it along the lines of an older person not being familiar with how to operate a computer.

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