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Greentext Stories - If only...

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Anonymous r2// 4( l ue)23.2U. N0.30 UZ File: enhanced-11401-1400710355-1 ipg (51 KB, 625x417) >General elections 2015 >Time to count up the votes >Expected to be a labour landslide victory after a vicious wave of hardcore shilling from all media outlets Ed Miliband is standing on the podium in Mark Duggan square >He opens his mouth to speak A RAGING FEL >Sky turns purple >Begins raining beer and pound coins >Nigel Farage Crashes a plane into the podium >"Looks like you're leaking Red, Ed" says Farage >Seats are announced > 100% of the vote went to UKIP >Stepping over the mangled corpse of Shilliband, Farage prepares to make a victory speech >Suddenly it happens >The collective a--- clench of all the Pro-EU hippies causes a black hole to open up in Brussels >It's sucking everything into it. >Farage turns to look at it, then turns back >His true form is revealed >He is half Jesus, half King Arthur >He takes a drag of his cigar, a swig of real ale "Britain is in danger, and I must do my duty to the people" starts playing really loudly, spliced between clips of XTC's "Making Plans for Nigel" >He steps onto the Thames >Walks over to the black hole Turns back, gives a wink and makes the classic Farage laugh face >Steps into the hole It is closed, Belgium is gone and in its place is a crater, carved into the Visage of Farage >The Empire is revived >God Save the Queen becomes the world anthem >Space empire is founded in 2015 >Our new motto >Non minoris molimenti ea claustra ad Farage

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