GlaDOS: Hello, meat puppet currently holding your iPad, Android, whatever inferior device you downloaded this program onto and welcome to the Aperture Science Handheld Mobile Testing Tool, or as they call it, "Portal GO." Sadly, since you are outside your nearest Aperture Science building, I cannot kill you with turrets or deadly neurotoxins. However, that doesn't mean that we can't still test for the time being. Just go outside and walk, maybe you'll find some cake or Aperture Science Handheld Portal Devices.
trying to get in the car
GlaDOS: Hahahaha, I don't think you should drive while you're playing "Portal GO." Or do so, it's not my job to babysit you while you drive through some department stores, running over other people also playing Portal GO.

Siri is free.