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Virgin vs. Chad - YourFavoriteVirgin VS. Mr. DoucheChad

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YourFavoriteVirgin MR. DOUCHECHAD Herculean physique Isliterally RayWilliamJohnson's rantsona Isn't afraid to let everyone know how perfect he is What kind of f------ name is "PuffPuff Humbert" Scrawny as a damned rake Knows he's better than everyone else, and doesn't even try to hide it Or "Your Favorite Martian," for that matter Came back from the dead just to Woo a girl who had to be infected just to not be terrified of him Bench presses Look at that Greatly exaggerates the size of his balls to compensate for his tiny d--- f------ chin Earned his ego, deserves to be arrogant Groped a drunk woman Was warmly welcomed into a club literally made for bad people Rocks those shades 24/7, doesn't give a f--- about the time Did the above in a failed attempt to win back his ex Wrote a gay love song for two old men from a cartoon Magnet for ugly moose-head bitches Hooked up with a hot chick once, now everyone remembers it Sung a whole song about "Mr. Douchebag," but not himself Views other nations through outdated stereotypes Was stupid enough to try orphan tears, which he couldn't even handle one sip of Even his grandmother knows he's a crybaby bitch, so she told the whole Internet AIl his friends know damn well that he's still got game Delivers mighty bellows straight into his Bluetooth Fell for fake t---, and threw a fit at her when he learned the truth Said grandma is plowing each of his friends, and it's all his own fault Ain't f-----' with no grenades Wrote not one, but TWO songs about le Epic Gamer culture Buys Smirnoff lIce for the sweet younglings Too shy to ask out M.I.LF.'s, so he just stalks them Got the gold chain and wifebeater on Made up a story about tending a robot bar, just to sound cool Would've been a professional football player, had it not been for his bum knee Yet has the audacity to lie about doing them Poor as a child "PARTY FOO00000000UL" Sung about how he wants to beat children Not even Santa Claus gave a s--- about him Made an entire song composed of nerd tantrums Totally banging George Clooney's sister-in-law Chugging a beer in his FaceBook pic Clearly projects his own flaws onto the 'douchebag' Dated a stinky bitch and ditched her instead of properly breaking up Walks into clubs grabbing his mega-junk F------ fist-bumps his way to the tanning salon A little bit of techno music throws him into a f------ seizure Cuts cucks off in traffic and even flips them off to show them their place Do you scrubs even have any idea what frats he was in? Unironically believes in the "friend zone" Works a s----- dead-end job while hopelessly fantasizing about world domination Is the entire list of dudes Puff's Cougar granny wants to do Doesn't limit himself to one woman, shares his gift with them all Whines about being picked on in musical form, Too dominant to take "No" for an answer Bangs the gal Puff who 'friend-zones' Puff

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