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: Anonymous cold aproachad a girl for the (...) >be me > go to the mall to pick up a girl >this way I will >after one hour of nervous observation and nervousness finally find a girl whose I find cute and I have the courage to go talk to > "hey I'm Anon I just wanted to tell you that you look hot, hmmm I mean cute, aha" > " Oh thanks but I'm actually twelve" UNIS 01/07/22(Fri)17:08:18 No.66892132 31 KB JPG

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon has bedbugs | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)08:13:26 No.72156042 33 KB JPG >get infested with bed bugs >as I lie hopeless in bed, these creatures are free to feed on me >realize how easily they ruin people's lives >begin feeding them and then putting them in jars to breed them >walk around at different times opening the jar on people's apartments and house >begin monitoring social media to see people seething about the bed bugs >people literally have no choice other than to fumigate their house and live elsewhere for days >drop bed bugs on their property again >going to leave a swarm of bed bugs in this apartment when I have to move, then repeat the process You could be doing the same.

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Anon gets trolled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 215 KB GIF 02/05/22(Sat)02:32:46 No.67290413 >at gfs house >casually binging youtube while she takes a shower >she asks me to give her a new bath towel >open the door to give her the towel >shes not there >the shower isnt even on >take a moment to process >im in someone's house >last time I talked to anyone was 10 yrs ago >never had a GF (29) >the walls are turning to white >a straight jacket is wrapped around me >im a the psych ward >mfw I trolled myself again by taking the meds

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Anon is set for life with this one strange trick that liquor store owners don't want you to know about | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 146 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)08:03:45 No.72158085 I think found an infinite money glitch >be 24, look 16 >go into liquor store >clerk doesnt believe me >bet him $100 that im actually 24 >call the cops on me >cop confirms I'm 24 >win $100 Would this actually work? I dont see any problem with it except maybe the cops get mad at me for bothering them all the time. : Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)08:05:07 No.72158091 You are retarded enough to be 16 I'll give you that

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Anon makes her sister cry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 33 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)12:55:01 No.72157703 >sis got new makeup >I was just being honest and told her it was ugly >she started crying and wouldn't talk to me >mom said it would be okay in a week >a week later >"hey sis I just want to apologise about the makeup" >"are you an a------ anon I almost forgot about it but you recall it again" 3 Replies >she starts crying again should I wait for another week? View Thread

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Anon get his ass beaten | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.63 MB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)06:37:29 No.72155387 >confronted my sister for losing another job >we aren't going to make rent if she doesn't cover her chunk >I'm paying for her groceries and all other bills right now too >she just starts hitting me >I push her and try to deescalate >she comes at me again >surprise I'm way weaker than I thought >she beats the s--- out of me >like bloody nose, black eyes, ears ringing >pulls my clothes off and keeps beating me >tells me to shut up or she'll kill me >only comes out to eat and use the bathroom 13 Replies I'm officially f----- if I don't move out but I can't let this lease go under because I probably won't get accepted anywhere decent if I do View Thread

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Anon is fed up with racism | /r/Greentext

Oscars: Danielle Deadwyler claims Hollywood is 'deeply impacted by racism' Anonymous 02/09/23(Thu)06:13:47 No. 180362844 >Be Danielle Deadwyler >be greatest actress of her time >give greatest performance of year in Till >miles ahead of any of those white bitches' performances (obviously) >don't get nominated for best actress >go on righteous crusade condemning the Academy's "systemic racism" really applaud her bravery. But I think maybe her argument about the Academy's "unabashed misogyny towards black women" is sort of undermined by the fact that a black woman was nominated for an acting Oscar - just not her...

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Anon is being tortured. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous WANTED 248 KB JPG 02/09/23(Thu)20:42:40 No.72157964 Zoomer girls are >hotter than any precious generation But also >pickier than any previous generation God loves to torture Non-Chad men

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Anon gets clogged up | /r/Greentext

>> Anonymous 10/24/13(Thu)05:28:56 No.512424623 Replies: >>512426008 >>512429005 >>512430782 my best s--- story: >be 18 >get strep >throat swells >glands huge >tonsils purple >fuuuuck >get antibiotics >get tylenol 3s >take antibiotics >take tylenol 3s >warning on antibiotics, "may cause diarrhea" >no diarrhea. end diamica >no s--- for two days ne abit for >no s--- for 3 days Com >have to s---, but can't, stopped up >get quart of prune juice, down it >drink whole quart in ten minutes >nothing >nothing >nothing >HRRKKK Sobdo >ohdeargod Pondear >run to bathroom Pronto >nothing >nothing >feel some movement, like the biggest turd ever is coming out >this "clay" ball starts working it's way out and it's like someone popped the cork on a champagne bottle >start s------- with force, feel it splatter back up >huge stream >feel bubbles working their way up my intestines as s--- comes out >massive gas too >hear my dad on the other side of the house laughing >have to take shower... so codeine stopped my system up, antibiotics gave me diarrhea, so i had liquid sitting on top of solid.... it was epic. my a------ hurt for like two days...

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Anon fails to be funny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 222 KB PNG >post it >LMAO.jpg 02/08/23(Wed) 22:38:27 No.894045595 >be me >14yo redditfag >browsing r/greentext >fuckicandothat.jpg >go to /b/ >write the funniest story of my life in greentext >enter capchca >return to r/greentext >sort by new and wait for someone to post it on there >upvotes standing by >one hour later, no post >check back on my greentext >no actual responses cuz im a f----- and don't know how to write greentexts >jannies prune my thread 3 minutes later >cry >kill myself out of shame >world is now a better place

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Anon uses nasal spray | /r/Greentext

I wanna die Procto-eze Cleanser 6C0F26FA-D798-47F5-B180-CE393853414E.jpg 3.05 MB JPG >there have been many ads on tv and yt about these new nasal sprays that are actually gels and have better resorption >go in bathroom and see picrel >looks like those new nasal sprays >shove it up my nostrils, works wonders >keep using it for a week every time im in the bathroom >i decide to order it online so i look it up >OHGODPLEASELORDNO >long story short ive been using dads hemorrhoid creme as nasal spray for a week >idk if he applied it via hand or shoved it up his ass but it did smell kinda funny Should i rope?

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Anon really doesn't like punk (I don't understand him either) | /r/Greentext

File: 1662054094368235.png (96 KB, 280x300) Anonymous 02/06/23 (Mon)15:56:31 No.893940994 [Reply] Why do people like punk music? It's f------ s---. >bands are not skilled at their instruments, a lot of them can't even play adequately >vocals are usually just screaming, there is certainly no "singing" >songs are painfully short >the recording quality is usually bad >there is really nothing artistic about it, it all sounds the same, it all has the same structure and style >all of this is done on purpose Why would you willingly and intentionally listen to punk?

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This greentext is a wonderful parable about how we attribute our failures to external causes instead of our own lack of knowledge / effort / discipline. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 78 KB JPG 08/25/21 (Wed)09:01:20 No.16600087 >Reads recipe >Changes it significantly, substituting many ingredients, using differing cooking times and temperatures >Recipe comes out tasting bad >"Wow, this recipe is so s---!"

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Greentext Stories - Anon joins the list | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous cold aproachad a girl for the (...) >be me > go to the mall to pick up a girl >this way I will >after one hour of nervous observation and nervousness finally find a girl whose I find cute and I have the courage to go talk to > "hey I'm Anon I just wanted to tell you that you look hot, hmmm I mean cute, aha" > " Oh thanks but I'm actually twelve" UNIS 01/07/22(Fri)17:08:18 No.66892132 31 KB JPG

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