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1862 Views • Created 9 years ago By Don Clawleone • Updated 6 years ago

Created By Don Clawleone • Updated 6 years ago

Jacob want's his home gril!

Anonymous 05/11/15(Mon)13:23:40 No. 61 5127074 615127215 끄615128945 me >meet tard from class, name Jacolb >Jacob is the only tard in school, so naturally everyone loves him in stard approaches crush ome >tells her "baby we can go back and listen to nickelback" >she says eff that, wants no part of it >Jacob starts going crazy >spits in her hair >I'm the only one in class laughing, teacher is giving me the meanest of all the scowls >she tries to get up to leave >Jacob is blocking her way for some reason, Jacob taught himself that whenever you close your lips to kiss someone you also have to close your eyes >doesn't see where his lips are landin >misses completely and falls over desk >hits head on a desk that was right next to it >at this point I'm about ready to piss my pants >Jacob gets up, notices crush leaving the room and says "N---- YOU GET BACK HERE >out of embarrassment, I left the room was in the bathroom the rest of the day >called mom to ask if she could bring fresh pair of underwear and pants >say it's a long story and Ill explain it later Anonymous 05/11/15(Mon)13:25:07 No. 61 512721 5 ▶ 615127331 22615128945 >opening of the local pool is today >of course Jacob wanting to see all of his home grils in 2 pieces is first in line to get in >also the last person in line >is only person in line >about an hour later, people start to show up >Jacob blasts through the doors >doesnt even pay admission >doesnt care either >literally the only one in the entire pool besides the staff >yells "WOMEN WITH YOUR BOOBS LET EM HANG OUT" >me, being in the middle of the line, can hear and see him through the chain link fence >collapse from laughter, it's math class all over again >went swimming for a bit, got ready to go home >but as I was leaving, out of ALL the people that could show up >his crush piece >Jacob is aiming down the sights of his red hot boner >approaches her and says >"baby you better get on this it aint gonna last" I should mention, at this point, everyone in the town besides Jacob's family absolutely hates him >crush slaps his face >cries like a little girl >mom comes over, unaware of what happened >asks >says to mom "I didn't get laid again" >feeling like I might have a hernia from laughing this hard Anonymous 05/11/15(Mon)13:26:14 No.61 5127331 >>615127908と2615128945 >see friend is now friends with Jacob >tilt head back in amazement that tard can use computer go to his profile >profile picture is Quagmire from Family Guy She's obsessed with that show >look at his status updates >he's been listening to "Something in your Mouth by nickelback for 3 days >delve into this hurricane of laughter and hysteria >find out that he's been sharing selfies of crushes he has >status updates say "I want "crush" in me so bad She is my weakest link >Have no idea what he's trying to say >Look a little further >Obsessed with something called Flash Cotton" >Assume it's a superhero of some sort, I dont know >discover that Jacob makes bitstrips over >read all of them >laugh to the point where snot is coming out of my nose >mostly incoherent dribble about how he wants it to rain 50,000 inches today or how he's going to London to bang his girls Anonymous 05/11/15(Mon)13:31:01 No.615127908 · 226151289452261512902922615133849 >last day of sch >Jacob going crazy that >doesnt realize he doesnt have any friends >thinks all the popular kids are his friends because they mess with him occasionally he wont see any of his friends again we're in biology >taking my exam et >all of the sudden I hear moaning >Jacob is crying Steacher tries to calm him down >jacob goes on about how he's going to miss his homies and how he's moving to Auckland, New Zealand >probably doesn't even know where that is anyways he keeps crying >holding back laughter >all of the sudden I hear from Jacob "and it's all because of YOUR FAULT! >points to his crush >don't care about the exam anymore, too busy looking at what's going to happen >she tries not to be a part of it >l don't blame her >Jacob, while crying, asks her "Why you haven't banged with me baby? I got a tool" >There's the biggest mixture of snot, saliva, and tears (all from laughter) all over my exam >Jacob slams his hand on the desk and yells "DAMMIT steacher at this point doesn't know what to do anymore, tries to get Jacob out of the class >Jacob is resistant >our biology class does not apply to the saying "resistance is futile" >punches teacher in the stomach steacher (who is around 350 pounds) lets out the loudest burp Ive ever heard in my life >I'm the only one laughing, I feel ashamed >Screams >Leaves class in the hallways >Says that he wants to bang his homeboys fail the exam
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