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Your wish is granted, this wish and any other wish you make is useless.

I wish my brother didn't watch Disney sitcoms

Granted, all he watches is FOX News.
I wish I knew how to into space.

You became space.
I wish nothing, and only nothing.

Wish granted, there is now nothing. Anything that has existed vanished, and there is absolutely nothing left.

I wish for some chicken nuggets

Granted, but they have tapeworm eggs in it. Best part is, you won't know you've ingested 'em till you start feeling in the effects.

I wish stuff that happened in vidya gaems were real.

Wish granted, every type of monster, demon, and bad guy from every video game ever now exist and are going to destroy the world.

I wish I owned every video game/video game console/video game attachment that has ever existed

Granted, you have no time to play them and no place to store them.

I wish for a hot air balloon.

Wish granted, the hot air balloon when you first use it, and you fall to your death

I wish the Cringeworthy, Childhood Enhanced, and Ruined Childhood galleries were re-opened

Granted, the hot air balloon breaks the first time you use it, and you fall to your death

I wish EA was actually good

Granted, though every other gaming company sucks harder than EA did.
I wish had the ability to draw amazingly.

Wish granted, you now draw amazingly, but no one will ever recognize your genius, and you will never be noticed.

I wish I knew how to program and design a video game

Granted, but it's so time consuming that is sucks all the fun out of it.

I wish for printer ink.

Granted. You now shit printer ink cartridges.
I wish I could pull unicorns out of my ass.

Granted, but they cannot pull you out of their asses.
I wish for Hotline Miami

Granted, but you get both of the Hotline Miami payday 2 heist if that's what you wanted

I wish for a world without freedom

Granted, but actually fuck you, you get perfect freedom.

>tfw you have nothing with which to orient yourself
>tfw you can't distinguish between yourself and nothing

I wish for a travel-sized waifu.

Granted, however you can't bring her outside the house because she has cancer and she has to eat through a tube, take spongebaths and cannot talk at all. Oh, and you're her caretaker for the rest of her life.

I wish I wasn't socially awkward around my peers.

Granted, you now have no peers or subordinates, only superiors.

I wish for an epic guitar solo.

Wish granted, but it's the worst solo you have ever heard in your life.

I wish I could watch Fist of the North Star on Netflix

Wish granted, but it's the worst solo you have ever heard in your life.

I wish I could watch Fist of the North Star on Netflix

Granted, but your Netflix account is terminated soon after you finish watching the entire show.
I wish I had a baby sloth as a pet.

Granted, but your Netflix account is terminated soon after you finish watching the entire show.
I wish had a baby sloth as a pet.

Granted, but the baby sloth is deathly ill and must be put down.

I wish I had all the weapons and armor from Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate

Granted, but they're all the size of a hamster.
I wish for a semicolon.

Wish granted, the only possession you own is a semicolon.

I wish that Family Guy, Spongebob, and Simpsons would finally die off

Granted, now Johnny Test will start airing again for another 10 years. (Yes, I'm aware it ended, which makes it even worse.)

I wish I had a delicious, non-poisonous, pile of pancakes in front of me right now, with berries, butter and maple syrup.

Wish granted, but the pancakes are actually alive, and eat you whole.

I wish I knew how emulation works so I can play God Hand.

Granted. You know how emulation works, but your computer can't process god hand's awesomeness.

I wish I had some tubby custard right about now.

Granted, but that custard is 5 years expired.

I wish that Hitler had a better childhood so he didn't practically start WW2 was never born.

Granted, but that custard is 5 years expired.

I wish that Hitler had a better childhood so he didn't practically start WW2 was never born.

Granted, now Kim Jong Un is even more tyrannical than before and has taken over not only North Korea, but South Korea, the US, Europe and Asia.

I wish I had a perfectly healthy, friendly, non-dangerous, cute, Beagle puppy in front of me right now.

Wish granted, but after 2 weeks, the puppy runs away, and you never see it again.

I wish twerking and Yolo were never created

Wish granted. Instread of twerking the trendy dance is called "spankah" and it consists on a girl and aboy spanking each other.
I wish that 2+2=7

Wish granted, but now the first ten numbers (0,1,2, etc.) have all been switched around. Have fun re-learning math!

I wish I was a pirate

Granted, but you get grounded for a week from the computer for screaming "GIVE ME TEH B00TY, FAGBOY"

I wish I actually remembered my password for this site.
And it didn't change.
Nor did I get banned.
Or called a nerd
:(

Wish granted, you forget your password for every other site you have an account on, and now people call you a Twat.

I wish I wasn't lazy

Granted, but now you're extremely energetic and forget about the internet. Roughly a week later, you overdose on steroids preparing for a workout.
oops
forgot my wish

I wish I didn't forget my wish.

You remembered your wish where you wished for a fish~
The fish went-a "swish," your remains in a dish~
The dish went-a "plish" when thrown with a splish~
Of the bottom of a puddle of the Sea of Irish~

I wish I could flow like Twista.

Granted, however you must only speak in raps from now on.

I wish I could go back in time and tell the version of myself that existed back in my first year of high school to stop being a complete dumbass, then come back after I'm done.

Granted. The you from this timeline no longer exists and your past self became an asshole instead of a dumbass.

I wish I had a 3DS…

Granted, it's broken

I wish for every human being on the planet right now to become transhuman.

I dont know what that means, so you get a hot dog instead

I wish I knew was "transhuman" meant

Granted, you immediately get struck by a baseball, and a bad case of laser-guided Amnesia. Back to square one, friend.

--

I wish I wasn't such an introvert.

Wish granted, but the next time you go outside, you get hit by a truck and die.

I wish I was immortal

Granted, but people don't believe you unless the can try to murder you in the most brutal ways imaginable.

I wish for celebratory gun fire.

Wish granted, but after its over, one of the guns misfires, and shoots you in the head, killing you.

I wish I could be more decisive

Granted, too bad all of your quick, decisive actions were poorly thought out, sending you to an early grave.

--

I wish I could 1-tap / Juan Deag like the best of them.

Granted, and now it's embarrassingly unpopular.

I wish to remember where I left that one thing, that super-important thing, I need for the thing I'm doing…

Wish granted, but you forget why you need it and what it's used for.
I wish I didnt have to go to this stupid Robotics competition.

Granted, but you are forced to sit through a presentation about the making of plastic bags instead.

I wish I had a chinchilla.