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Granted but the bottle is empty

i wish i was taller

You get so tall you reach into space…where there is no air, and you're suffocated.

I wish Trainers couldn't catch me.

Oh, you… Trainers can't catch you. Pokeballs, however, are a different story. You just wasted a wish.
I wish I had a clone.

Granted. He betrays you and imprisons you, taking your place.

I wish I had an army of Metal Sonics.

granted but they are not stainless steel and they get all rusty within weeks.

I wish this salad wasnt all that soggy :/

It's not soggy enough, and tastes worse.
I wish I lived la vida loca.

Granted but if you are gay you are now straight and if you were straight now you're a tranny, and if you were a tranny now you're a robot unicorn with caffeineholic and fan of midget furry pr0n.

I wish i had a more creative wish.

granted, such a shame you only get one wish pr. post

i wish i was a god

Kratos kills you.
I wish I was a white mage.

Granted…I made you Death Pony! (Technically a mage…and white)

I wish I was War, one of the Four Horsemen, or War Pony, the horse of War!

Granted, you are now war horse

Star of broadway!

I wish I could play every single musical instrument like a master.

Good news is: You can play all the instruments. Bad news is: You can't get out of your house because all those instruments block the exits.

Let's try this again, I wish I couldn't get caught by Pokeballs, either.

Trainers use Tranquilizer guns and ropes in order to tame you. Ouch.
I wish I could travel between different planes of existence.

Granted… you don't control where you travel and you end up staying in a dimension of nothingness…
I wish for Raichu is Lugia! to be free, free to live his life… as a Digimon instead of a Pokemon!

The file has been deleted.
I wish for lightning to strike some random douchebag in Nevada

Granted, the douchebag is you on your visit to nevada.

I wish BL2 was on my hands NAO!

Granted, but without the box.
I wish I had many monies on Steam.

Granted, oh look a steam sale

i wish i had a gold coin

Granted, but you still need another 99 for a 1-Up!
I wish my controls didn't suck.

they are increblity hard to master
i wish i can fix errors

Granted, but youras wishdfs onlaely worcs innn threee secons
I wish for some delicious pie!

it's an sweet poison pie
i wish you can heal me

No, because you are Dragon
I wish the cure of cancer

Granted but spy kills you before you can heal someone with cancer.

I wish i was a pyro

The genie misinterprets your wish and sets you on fire.

I wish I had a bagel

you get a rotten, old and very hairy bagel

i wish.. the world was tainted with an unspeakable evil that would bring the ends of the earth in an all glory human mass slaughter so that the age of undead can raise from their ashes and take over the world MUAHAHAHAHA!

the robots take over and extermination all zombies and liches
i wish for no mistakes

You are dead (you can't make any mistakes when your dead right?)

I wish I can draw well

All your art is stolen online and the originals burn in a fire.
I wish for a feel.

you get an feeling of hatred
i wish for no hentai

they rename it Manga 34

i wish… for cupcakes for everyone!

They all have pony in them!

I wish I could go to the Mushroom Kingdom.

You die because of all the spores released by the mushrooms.

I want a skittle

Granted. You get one piece of a lemon flavor Skittles.

I'm hungry. I wish for a huge delicious burrito with extra sauces.

You're stuck in the bathroom for five hours afterwards.
I wish for a white BMW.

the bmw used to be made by an member of the kkk then he died so he gone in a rampage in car form to redeem the south (oh and fun fact that bmw has cyanide)
i wish for an Ferrari

you get a blue Ferrari
(because everyone know the red one goes faster!)

i wish the world was free of all the stupid people

Every person in the world including you, all vanish. (Everyone has been stupid at some point.)

I wish I didn't eat that last hamburger…

You ate a hot dog instead. (it has more calories)
I wish I had an infinite source of food.

the food is your least favorit

i wish i had 99 problems but this wish weren't one

you are now an dictatior
i wish for an u f o

The aliens inside of it kidnap you and perform some downright disturbing experiments on you.

I wish I was best friends with Mario and Luigi.

Granted, but you now poop eggs and forced to digest Shy Guys daily, which taste disgusting.
I wish I had my hat back.

granted but it has an bear trap
i wish the ufo will crash land to an planet

Granted, but you die along with the aliens in the crash.
I wish for a Pikmin.

Ya know, I don't even care. As long as I'm Yoshi! ;)
…………………………………………………………………….
The Pikmin is a Rock Pikin and it appears right above you! squish!

I wish I had a Wii U.

The only game you can play is 007 Legends.
I wish I could play any old game I wanted.

Granted, but you have to take out the cartridge and blow the dust out of it every time you beat a level.

I wish my new game discs didn't get scratched so easily

Granted, but they break faster.
I wish I had a turret.

The turret is not friendly and will shoot you

i wish i was on a boat