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Anonymous 04/23/14(Wed)02:24:34 No.543522159 >be 3 years old >standing in the living room next to leather sofa >for no apparent reason think to myself "I will remember this moment" >still do

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: Anonymous FACT 118 KB JPG 1 Reply 06/09/23(Fri)11:21:09 No.73609411 if god didn't want me jacking off he wouldn't have made it feel so good View Thread 06/09/23(Fri)11:22:32 No.73609417 : Anonymous your arms reach exactly to crotch level for a reason

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>be me, living downtown in a big Canadian city >walk to the grocer today >give perfunctory nod to new brown neighbor that had to be confronted 6 times in as many months about using my driveway as his own property >used to be a quiet chinese family, now it's jamaican looking nogs speaking an unrecognizable language with screeching children and endless visitors >get to the main avenue 730 KB JPG >hassled by panhandlers at every block >bus shacks completely colonized by homeless and packed with heaps of junk >decide to take the backlane >used needles anywhere there's a curb to sit on >looking at a recently burned out vehicle >see my garbage bin that was stolen a couple years ago with my address partially scrubbed off >ponder if its even worth taking back my property. Last time I yelled at vandals smashing car windows, they came back and smashed my window. >exit lane, walking down sidewalk >have to cross the road cause a squaw woman in a tracksuit dropped her pants and started s------- on the boulevard just ahead of me Today was a good day. I didn't step in any feces. Didn't get attacked by stray dogs. And no one tried to mug me.

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283 KB JPG >UFO sightings have recently increased over 500% >Dept of Defense all of a sudden streamrolling through alien/ufo disclosure >10 ft alien spotted in a mexican's backyard in vegas >Intel community leaders had a meeting at Wright Patterson AFB, rumored to be the location of several captured UFOs >"Five Eyes" UFO briefing (thanks to retarded Canadians for leaking) >Gang of 8 emergency briefing in Senate SCIF >Congress announced their own briefing >Congress will not vote for the rest of the week >NASA says we need to prepare for total internet blackout that will last months Im not saying its happening but its happening guys. This could be the biggest happening of all happenings. I seriously think Earth is being invaded by aliens.

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Anonymous 1.43 MB PNG 2 Replies 01/09/23 (Mon)13:21:00 No.71756855 >>71756997 # >Mom walked in on me with my practice gf (male) Anonymous >>71756855 (OP) # Can we see your practice gf? View Thread 01/09/23 (Mon)13:25:05 No.71756888 : Anonymous >>71756888 # No, his wet boipussy is only for me. 01/09/23 (Mon)13:37:27 No.71756997

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: Anonymous 10/24/22(Mon) 09:31:09 No.172717319 >not to mention >mentions it 44 KB JPG : Anonymous 367 KB PNG : Anonymous 8 KB PNG : Anonymous 275 KB PNG 10/24/22(Mon)09:34:33 No.172717375 >needless to say >says it 10/24/22(Mon)09:35:46 No.172717399 >not to be racist but >is racist 10/24/22(Mon)09:36:11 No.172717404 >thought >He didn't think

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: Anonymous Nofap does things to you ON ABOVE 63 KB JPG 06/08/23(Thu)18:40:36 No.73606766 >quit p--- >still masturbate without it from time to time >hand feels bad, can't c-- >have some condoms left over from a better time >blow up a condom >looks kinda like a c--- with just enough air inside it >start rubbing it up and down my shaft >feelsgoodman.jpg >imagine I'm frotting with a cute femboy >coom buckets >try again after a few days >fill it with water this time >it's now bigger, firmer, warmer and has balls >coom hard again This is the gayest s--- I've ever done but I liked it I'm homophobic and heterosexual irl btw

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>> Anonymous 06/07/16(Tue) 18:16:04 No.688397645 >>688397923 >>688397975 >>688398243 OC incoming >be me >hip hop eurofag >at friends house >friend puts on a track i didnt know >daaaaamn >soundsgoodman.jpg >ask him what style this is >tells me its called "Trap" >shitscashman.wmv >go home >Google "Trap" >land here >mfw >you sick f------

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Anonymous (ID: qLK6j/uK HR and staff at my job know I'(...) 06/08/23(Thu)22:17:28 No.429910093 >be me >corporate cushy job, woke liberals working there with bluepilled normies >we have a harassment training that's mandatory corporate b------- >jewess in hr there taking notes >jewish lawyers come from a bigger city 2 hours away to give this dumb training >"so employees, lets look an a hypothetical. What do we do if there is an employee that likes talking about WW2 a lot and has swastika pictures in their cubicle?" >everyone looks at me 56 KB PNG

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Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 experiments.png 1.39 MB PNG Settings Mobile Home >Be me, self aware greentext writer with masters in neuroscience. >Know r/greentext users are lurking everywhere. >Write the most degenerate things in greentext, and these deranged and schizophrenic people come like lambs to the slaughter. >The mere-exposure effect is a psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference farthing's merely because they are familiar with them. >Slowly morphing them into worse people one story at a time, making them more familiar with terrible acts and ideas. >When the participants are repeatedly exposed to my ideas, there is activation in the parts of the brain that correspond with self-identity, and they begin to internalize the lessons from my greentext. >Soon there will be armies of greentext readers with severe psychological problems acting out in their own lives and relationships. I'm the hottest 18 year old on OnlyFans.

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File: Screenshot_2023-06-08_11-59-13.png (315 KB, 549x692) A * HISTORY * SMH Conspiracy theorists keep getting things right; experts warn that's dangerous Not just online any more: dangerous movements like the "freedom convoy" are fueled by conspiracy theories, and when those theories are correct, it legitimizes them. Conspiracy theorists keep getting things right; experts warn that's dangerous Anonymous (ID: mqfwy0+5) 06/08/23(Thu)13:41:44 No.429887105 ► >>429888559 >>429888959 >>429889701 >>429891356 >>429893311 >>429893382 >>429893621 >>429893677 >>429894019 >>429894141 >>429894451 >>429894623 >>429894880 >>429895157 >>429896355 >>429896412 >>429896689 >>429897126 >>429897683 >>429897769 >>429897968 >>429898620 >More recently, the lab leak theory regarding the origins of the COVID-19 pandemic has yet again sparked totally unnuanced "conspiracy theorists were right" discourse. While initially the lab leak theory was clamped down on for being a dangerous conspiracy theory, the hypothesis has more or less by random chance been the one to recently gain traction in expert opinions. >And while the true origins of the virus remain unclear, the fact that a modern conspiracy theory could potentially hold elements of truth has raised alarm bells among guardians of democracy like journalists and experts. https://afru.com/conspiracy-theory-right-experts-warn-dangerous/ Apologize. Now. >> Anonymous (ID: YCcKyKtd) 06/08/23(Thu)13:55:40 No.429888559 >>429888850 >>429890587 >>429891059 >>429897533 >>429887105 (OP) >YOU WERE ACCIDENTALLY RIGHT Imagine not having access to your ancestral memory and the global consciousness. >> Anonymous (ID: bnuXYaEk) 06/08/23(Thu)13:58:16 No.429888850 ► >>429888559 They never will. They have NO SOULS! ☐ Anonymous (ID: Lj9qLbn2) 06/08/23 (Thu)13:59:17 No.429888959 >>429887105 (OP) >guardians of democracy like journalists lol, what k--- wrote this one?

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>> Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:25:51 No.900615204 >>900615237 >>900615901 >>900616506 >>900616838 >>900617140 >>900617323 >>900618001 >>900618318 >be having sex for the first time >girl pulls her panties down and reveals her butt in my face >tells me to kiss it >look at it closely >hairy anus >feel sick >make up excuses >leave and come home i don't want to body shame girls for being hairy :S.. but what do? Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:27:24 No.900615237 >>900615293 >>900615407 >>900615436 File: Screenshot_20220405-221952-2.png (679 KB, 624x989) >>900615204 Is it normal for the base of the penis to be this hairy? Pic related. People talk about hairy balls but I have got hairs growing up the shaft like a monkey and I'm worried they will get stuck in a girl if we go on a date and she decides to "go down" on me (which means the b-------) and then gets the pubes stuck in her teeth, maybe if their dentist told them to floss they could benefit from the hairs, but otherwise how would the female react? I am scared to find out. Anonymous 06/08/23(Thu)17:32:41 No.900615407 ► >>900615436 >>900615237 why you asking me bro anyway i f**king hate hair so if i was a girl then no way would i be going down on you or up on you unless you get a full body wax and start transitioning because i am also .. NOT GAY .. no off fence :/ Please Do Not Sit On The Fence >>900615407 You're allowed on this fence anon, it will tickle your virgin prostate.

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: Anonymous 7 KB JPG 05/13/23(Sat)12:40:46 No.73299617 >huge house party down the street I just want to be there, but I'm here alone on Friday night. I don't hate normies, really. I'm just mad at myself for not being one.

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1.8 MB PNG Am I wrong to be happy about this? >be me, air quality expert living in NYC >my friends and family always made fun of me for choosing this dumb career analyzing air quality and going into tons of debt for school >giant wildfires in Quebec bring tons of smoke to NYC for the first time. >everyone is freaking the f--- out, acting like this is the apocalypse and the end of the world, totally f------ hysterical 24/7. >all of my friends are asking me about how to improve air quality in their little NYC apartments. Hundreds of texts per day from people I haven't heard from in years. >newspapers and TV news contact me to discuss air quality >my company is securing 3 new major multimillion dollar contracts that never would have happened if these fires didn't happen >everyone everywhere I go knows that I'm the air quality guy to talk to because they remember making fun of me >everyone is apologizing for not taking my career seriously >smoking hot girls are talking to me about AIR QUALITY, my favorite topic, all the time How do I keep these good times rolling?

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File: confucius.jpg (193 KB, 1920x1080) Anonymous 06/07/23(Wed)12:31:18 No.15164157 >Upon the road, Anon meets the Great Philosopher >"Wise teacher," says Anon >"How can I live a life worth living?" >The Great Philosopher points to the trees by the roads >"Do you see these trees anon?" >"Yes wise teacher" 需 >"Do you see how their leaves grow? Each a unique divine gift yet all contribute to the whole?" >"Yes wise teacher" >"Do you see how their branches extend to heaven?" >"Yes wise teacher" >The Great philosopher smiled at Anon and pushed him aside >"It is time for you to make like a tree and leaf" Anon was Enlightened

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: Anonymous 72 KB JPG 06/07/23 (Wed)20:42:26 No.73597740 >be me >virgin >manage to fumble 6 girls within the span of 1 year >all were interested in me first At this point its set in stone. Its over.

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n---- it's futa club of course it has scans Anonymous 02/23/14(Sun)20:25 UTC-8 No.102616238 Replies: >>102616348 >>102616438 >>102616444>>102616453 >>102616503 >>102616549 >>102616751 >2 summers ago >be fapping to Uno Makotos Mama Tama >c-- BUCKETS >instantly just pass out on my bed >sleep like a baby >f--- overslept, late for work >leave in a rush >realize at work i left the cover page and folder open on my computer >lived with single mom all my life, pray to god she doesn't walk in and see it >get home >say hi to mom nothing too out of the ordinary >room has obviously been cleaned by mother not sure if she saw it or not >figure if she didn't bring it up or act out of the ordinary she must not have >2 days later >be in room on computer when mother walks in >"Hey Anon hows it going?" >shes standing there staring at me with her hands on her hips. >"Nothing mom what do you need?" >shes just standing there >starting to get confused >then i notice something >VERY obvious bulge in my mothers pants >look at her with dread >"See anything you like son?" >this literally cannot be f------ happening >she suddenly bursts out laughing >puts her hands down her pants and puts out a handful of socks which she throws in my face >shes still laughing >"Mom what the f---?" >"I read that comic on your computer anon, they have some weird stuff on that internet huh?" >"Mom please go away. >"Its ok sweetie i'm just teasing you, what you like is your own business." >"Ok mom....please leave.." >"Sure sure but can you please take out the trash? I'm cooking dinner right now. I'm making your favorite, sausage." >she laughs even harder and shuts the door and leaves my room You have to understand my mom is funny like that we have a good relationship and everything but it was awkward as f---. Anonymous 02/23/14(Sun)20:25 UTC-8 No.102616252 Replies: >>102616293 100001500000 1000 100 ☐

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