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Alright, but its being a gravedigger in the 1200's.

I wish my pet bird was still alive.

(Oh, and pagebreak)

Okay, but http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pet_Sematary

I wish more people listened to rock and roll instead of Lady Gaga and Kesha.

@Hamilton
Ok but he has super aids and infects everything he touches.

I wish I could Flacoooooooone PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUNCH.

Ok but mario uses a final smash on you.
I wish I was on fire and getting stabbed and raped a the same time and was in silent hill

And then you get kidnapped by aliens.

I wish that Batman was real.

Ok but he kills you.
I wish I was the most powerfull troll that could never be modded or banned and ruled the internet!

Okay, but to gain this power you destroy all the porn on the internet.

I wish (again >_<) that more people listened to rock and roll instead of awful pop like Lady Gaga and Kesha.

Ok, but now Lady Gaga makes rock and roll.
I wish that I was better at Touhou.

ok but hory sheet its this thread again.
I wish John Lennon and Elvis were still alive.

They never died.

I wish, that you must give me a uncorruptable wish.

No
I wish I could shoot rainbow lazers out of my nipples

You'll get it once you stop making useless threads.
I want a mexican wrestler.

You get a SUPER MARIO MEXIACN WRESTLER!!!

…but he died.
I wish The Critic was on adult swim.

… but you no longer get adult swim with your provider.

I wish I didn't have to wish for something.

But you just did.
I wish I could rule Europe and Tokyo.

weaboos, weaboos everywhere

I wish I could totally a coca cola bottle

You get Pepsi.
I wish I was a god.

Fine, but you are Light Yagami, and you die.
I wish for something random to happen to somebody else.

A man falls into the toilet of an airplane and gets sucked out and falls on your head.

I wish I could fly!

Then a voice will always echo…

Nothing to corrupt.

I wish I never missed Tosh.0

Alright, but now there's a two hour infomercial for bananas between every clip.
I wish I had a Keyblade.

It's made of ice and will melt, along with all of your joy, your happiness, your very soul.

I wish that wish rhymed with xylophone.

Granted. but xylophone is changed to the word dish.
I wish I could go on /b/.

/b/ is now /d/. There are dicks everywhere.

I wish I could live forever.

But everyone else is dead
i wish that the song "no handlebars" by flobots wasnt stuck in my head

K but its the gay lil mermaid 1

I wish I had Shinobu Jacobs in mah bed.

ok, but turns out to be the Hanson Brothers.

I wish I could have a Nazi for a pet.

Ok but your a jew now.
I wish I was a magcial rock that could shoot rainbows out of my nipples

Ok but your tits fall off and acidize your dick.

I wish I could fuck Hanson in the ass and then Have Shinobu Jacobs in mah bed.

but IT'S A TRAP!

I wish for desu eyes

Okay, but anime goes out of style two days later.
I wish for Automail

Ok but all you get is spam.
I wish for batman to kill me

(I see my hater is on again giving my coments neg karma for no reason)

@Shizzle
Ok but…… Well thats already the most corrupt thing ever

I wish the thing I ordered for my sister's birthday would hurry up and land in my mailbox.

Ok but she hates it.
I wish batman didnt have time to plan

Ok but when he doesnt you end up getting murdered by Charlie Murphey at a strip club because his goddamn ass isnt there to save you.

I wish I could do moar liek for the last time.

Alright, but you run out of villainous ideas.
I wish…for an awesomely incorruptible sandwich.

(lol, two people did the Batman one at the same time.)

Ok but its Jesus like powers blow pure awsomeness out of your ears

I wish for ____

(4 hyphens that don't show up when I type them.)Granted without the shift key.
I wish everybody talked backwards.

ko tub won ruoy dekcuf

I wish I had a portal gun that shot cats.

Okay, but the cats turn into portals to hell.
I wish for speakers that worked.

Ok but they're too big for your ears.

I wish I had an eternal supply of pickles.

(Speakers too big for my ears? Do you mean headphones? I meant the kind that sit on your desk. CORRUPTION REPAIRED.)
Okay, but they're all actually cucumbers.
I don't wish for $100,000,000.

You don't get anything because you didn't wish

I wish for a dollar

Okay, but its in North Korea.
Again, I wish for AutoMail

You only get $0.99.

I wish the opposite of me getting $100,000,000.

You get $200,000,000 but your testicles turn inside out.

I wish knew how to shot web

You learn by having to go to a life-long psychology class in which you find out that everything you know is wrong and that you're mother never loved you.

I would like to order a pizza with extra pepperoni.

You get extra desu instead

I wish for an awesome username of epicness!

Ok, but they're too big for your- I dun goofd, sorry.
Ok, but the pepperoni is made out of Stalin's foot.
I wish I could tell the difference between headphones and speakers.