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Bert talks about 'Nam again

22 Thank you for the smoke, Ernie. You know, I used to smoke all the time in The Nam. This.sigh..brings back memories. Did I ever tell you how combat is like ? It is not like in the movies, where there's thousands of men charging on yelling war cries guns blazzing. No, it's always some patrol or evac or convoy, everyone is marching and doing their stuff. Then.something happens, often a gunshot or explosion in the distance. Everyone forms in a defensive position, and eventually, the charlies come near. Not that near, but near enough you can just barely see them. Then the shooting starts, granades and stuff like that get thrown if it´s close enough. Officers barking in the radio about med-evac, reinforcements, air support, whatever. Somehow them charlies always get closer and closer, maybe they manage to kill enough rifles to do so or maybe someone screwed-up. They storm in, or get in the trees, or maybe start executing your wounded buddies or carrying off some idiot that surrendered. When It looks like they will find you, the charlies retreat, the reason doesn't matter. All that mess took maybe, 2 minutes, but I couldn't even remember my own name. All I could remember, is that I wanted a smoke."
22 Thank you for the smoke, Ernie. You know, I used to smoke all the time in The Nam. This.sigh..brings back memories. Did I ever tell you how combat is like ? It is not like in the movies, where there's thousands of men charging on yelling war cries guns blazzing. No, it's always some patrol or evac or convoy, everyone is marching and doing their stuff. Then.something happens, often a gunshot or explosion in the distance. Everyone forms in a defensive position, and eventually, the charlies come near. Not that near, but near enough you can just barely see them. Then the shooting starts, granades and stuff like that get thrown if it´s close enough. Officers barking in the radio about med-evac, reinforcements, air support, whatever. Somehow them charlies always get closer and closer, maybe they manage to kill enough rifles to do so or maybe someone screwed-up. They storm in, or get in the trees, or maybe start executing your wounded buddies or carrying off some idiot that surrendered. When It looks like they will find you, the charlies retreat, the reason doesn't matter. All that mess took maybe, 2 minutes, but I couldn't even remember my own name. All I could remember, is that I wanted a smoke."

Bertstrips
vietnam war bert ernie

Elmo Pulls a Cortex

Elmo Pulls a Cortex
Elmo Pulls a Cortex

Bertstrips
bertstrips elmo black muppets n word dropping a hard one gamer word muppets sesame street n xbox live

Caralho!

Caralho!
Caralho!

Bertstrips
garibaldo bir bird brazillian cousin murder documentary

Ernie's dyslexia strikes again

Ernie is p----- off because he accidentally bought a flashlight instead of a fleshlight at the store
Ernie is p----- off because he accidentally bought a flashlight instead of a fleshlight at the store

Bertstrips
ernie flashlight fleshlight

He did not count with it

After draining Mark Zuckerberg of his blood, The Count is left surprised when it turns it not only isn't red, it is a color simply unknown to the human eye.
After draining Mark Zuckerberg of his blood, The Count is left surprised when it turns it not only isn't red, it is a color simply unknown to the human eye.

Bertstrips
mark zuckerberg count von count

To be fair, this not only happens to the boys

Seo Don Cookie Monster's request to toxic fangirls when they see two straight male characters in the same scene.
Seo Don Cookie Monster's request to toxic fangirls when they see two straight male characters in the same scene.

Bertstrips
cookie monster shipping lgbt

Omegle Moment

It was bad enough that the random video chat with thousands of people from all over the world had somehow lead to this. But what truly made things awkward for Waldorf and Statler was when each noticed that the other had chosen the handle, "Horny_Grandpa_Needs_Your_BBC". EAE
It was bad enough that the random video chat with thousands of people from all over the world had somehow lead to this. But what truly made things awkward for Waldorf and Statler was when each noticed that the other had chosen the handle, "Horny_Grandpa_Needs_Your_BBC". EAE

Bertstrips
waldorf statler online meeting video chat bbc

We were soon united by our collective fear of him

In such divided times, the Swedish Chef decided that old fashioned Swedish neutrality needed to be brought back in style via slaughtering everyone who p----- him off regardless of race, gender, age, religion or political position.
In such divided times, the Swedish Chef decided that old fashioned Swedish neutrality needed to be brought back in style via slaughtering everyone who p----- him off regardless of race, gender, age, religion or political position.

Bertstrips
swedish chef muppets the muppets bertstrips bertstrip swedish axe politics sesame street

Come on, Uncle Kermit! I want to play with you. Forever.

Kermit was horrified to see Robin sitting on the stairs, as his nephew had died in his arms twenty years ago when his attempt to get rid of Clifford backfired. His eyes, filled with malicious mischievousness, were what terrified him the most.
Kermit was horrified to see Robin sitting on the stairs, as his nephew had died in his arms twenty years ago when his attempt to get rid of Clifford backfired. His eyes, filled with malicious mischievousness, were what terrified him the most.

Bertstrips
robin the frog kermit the muppets bertstrips muppets robin sesame street the muppet show creepy horror stairs bertstrip

"I am a shadow... The true self..."

When Grover made it into the Shadow World again he saw his Shadow. His shadow explained why he always wanted to go crazy on drugs. Grover tried to ignore his shadow, but much to his denial these feelings were true.
When Grover made it into the Shadow World again he saw his Shadow. His shadow explained why he always wanted to go crazy on drugs. Grover tried to ignore his shadow, but much to his denial these feelings were true.

Bertstrips
grover sesame street bertstrips persona 4 atlus

Cookie Monster goes to Hell

At first Cookie Monster was confused why he was sent to hell by God, but then he realized that the sinners had all been turned into cookies. He wasn't being punished, he was the punishment.
At first Cookie Monster was confused why he was sent to hell by God, but then he realized that the sinners had all been turned into cookies. He wasn't being punished, he was the punishment.

Bertstrips
cookie monster cookies hell god me irl me_irl

No one asked

Grover shows a picture of who the f--- asked
Grover shows a picture of who the f--- asked

Bertstrips
grover sesame street

Bert plays a wizard.

Do you know what casting a Fireball spell sounds like Ernie? It roars like a dragon, a fiery God purging everything in its path. Keep casting, one after another, and the WHOOSH-BOOM drowns out everything else. Focus on the noise and you can almost convince yourself you don't hear the screams. By the time you're out of spell slots, everything's over, even the men are quiet. There's nothing but the crackling of burning thatch. You see Ernie, it's not the noise that keeps me awake at night. It's the silence.
Do you know what casting a Fireball spell sounds like Ernie? It roars like a dragon, a fiery God purging everything in its path. Keep casting, one after another, and the WHOOSH-BOOM drowns out everything else. Focus on the noise and you can almost convince yourself you don't hear the screams. By the time you're out of spell slots, everything's over, even the men are quiet. There's nothing but the crackling of burning thatch. You see Ernie, it's not the noise that keeps me awake at night. It's the silence.

Bertstrips
bert ernie sesame street muppets fireball burning silence dungeons and dragons

'Stop the Count' wasn't referring to the election. All those characters who aren't on the show anymo...

Benny Rabbit, Bruno the Trashman, Don Music, Roosevelt Franklin, Betty Lou, Murray, Biff and Sull and Harvey Kneeslapper are just some of The Count's victims
Benny Rabbit, Bruno the Trashman, Don Music, Roosevelt Franklin, Betty Lou, Murray, Biff and Sull and Harvey Kneeslapper are just some of The Count's victims

Bertstrips
sesame street the count count von count muppets the muppets bert bertstrips stop the count election vampire dark blood

He never took Kermit replacing him very well...

Yes Nigel, that conductor of the orchestra we see in every episode of The Muppet Show and a frequent background character in some of the Muppet movies was originally conceived as the host of the show and was the host in the pilot episode The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence, but it was felt he was too dull and it was suggested to make Kermit, an already established and popular character, the lead. Ever since finding that out I've wondered if that would eventually take its toll on his psyche and he'd eventually snap.
Yes Nigel, that conductor of the orchestra we see in every episode of The Muppet Show and a frequent background character in some of the Muppet movies was originally conceived as the host of the show and was the host in the pilot episode The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence, but it was felt he was too dull and it was suggested to make Kermit, an already established and popular character, the lead. Ever since finding that out I've wondered if that would eventually take its toll on his psyche and he'd eventually snap.

Bertstrips
the muppets muppets kermit bertstrips reddit nigel jim henson dark disney the muppet show bomb

Elmo Knows What You Did With That Hooker

Elmo was a skilled Peeping Tom
Elmo was a skilled Peeping Tom

Bertstrips
elmo sesame street peeping tom
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