I'm Actually at My Emotional Capacity

I'm Actually at My Emotional Capacity

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Updated Nov 24, 2019 at 07:47PM EST by Matt.

Added Nov 20, 2019 at 12:38PM EST by Matt.

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About

I'm at My Emotional Capacity refers to a copypasta template for telling a close friend why one cannot offer them emotional or mental support. The template reads:

Hey! I'm so glad you reached out. I'm actually at capacity / helping someone else who's in crisis / dealing with some personal stuff right now, and I don't think I can hold appropriate space for you. Could we connect [later date or time] instead / Do you have someone else you could reach out to?

Origin

On November 18th, 2019, Twitter [1] user @fyeahmfabello tweeted, "I want to chat briefly about this text that I received from a friend last week." The message reads, "Do you have the emotional/mental capacity for me to vent about something medical/weight-related for a few minutes?" Within two days, the tweet received more than 17,000 likes and 5,000 retweets (shown below, left).

Later in the thread, the Twitter[2] user wrote, "PS: Someone reached out and asked for an example of how you can respond to someone if you don’t have the space to support them. I offered this template." The tweet received more than 4,000 likes and 500 retweets in less than two days (shown below, right).


Melissa A. Fabello, PhD @fyeahmfabello I want to chat briefly about this text that I received from a friend last week: Do you have the emotional/mental capacity for me to vent about something medical/weight-related for a few minutes? 2:10 PM Nov 18, 2019 Twitter for iPhone Melissa A. Fabello, PhD @fyeahmfabello PS: Someone reached out and asked for an example of how you can respond to someone if you don't have the space to support them. offered this template: "Hey! I'm so glad you reached out I'm actually at capacity / helping someone else who's in crisis / dealing with some personal stuff right now, and I don't think I can hold appropriate space for you. Could we connect [later date or time] instead / Do you have someone else you could reach out to?" 4:09 PM Nov 18, 2019 Twitter for iPhone

Spread

Following the post, people on the platform began mocking the template. Twitter[3] user @Jess_D_Ripper tweeted a screenshot from the film Midsommar with the template overlaid on top. The tweet received more than 14,000 likes and 2,300 retweets in 24 hours (shown below, left).

Over the next few days, people posted the template with jokes about not answering the phone or sarcastically ignoring friends (examples below, center and right).

On November 14th, Mashable [4] reported on the meme.


"Hey! I'm so glad you reached out I'm actually at capacity / helping someone else who's in crisis/ dealing with some personal stuff right now, and I don't think I can hold appropriate space for you. Could we connect [later date or time] instead / Do you have someone else you could reach out to?" brendon bouzard @brendonbouzard Hey, I'm so glad you reached out. I'm actually at capacity / helping someone else who's in crisis / dealing with some personal stuff right now, and I don't think I can hold appropriate space for you Recents Fraud Risk 3:21 PM (i San Antonio, TX Fraud Risk 1:04 PM (i San Antonio, TX 3:29 PM Nov 19, 2019 Twitter for iPhone Patrick Monahan @pattymo GEORGE: Jerry! My hair dryer ruined the picture of Man- Hands! I need another one or I can't get back into the forbidden city! JERRY: "Hey! I'm so glad you reached out. I'm actually at capacity helping someone else who's in crisis / dealing with some personal stuff right now, and I don't think I can hold appropriate space for you. Could connect [later date or time] instead / Do you have someone else you could reach out to?" 3:45 PM Nov 19, 2019 Twitter for iPhone

Various Examples


Nick Ciarelli @nickciarelli I was wondering if I could talk to you hey about the big dog that is stuck biting into my like from a cartoon Hey! I'm actually at my emotional capacity mental energy to help you through this particular crisis rn. Do you have a pungent steak that the dog could smell? 4:11 PM Nov 19, 2019 Twitter Web App garrett @garrettdunc me as a therapist: so how are you doing this week patient: well it's been rough, - me: sorry but I'm at capacity and this is a lot of emotional labor right now 3:46 PM Nov 19, 2019 Twitter for Android let @coyote_time Hi, does everybody have the mental/emotional capacity right now to read a tweet about how the olives keep rolling off of the hummus toast I made even though I thought the hummus would work as a gluing agent? I just like to ensure consent for this kind of emotional labor 12:45 PM Nov 19, 2019 from Los Angeles, CA Twitter for iPhone
patrick @batr1k Hey! I'm so glad you reached out. I'm actually at capacity because I'm crying over Baby Yoda right now, and I don't think I can hold appropriate space for you. Do you have someone else you could reach out to? 12:31 PM Nov 19, 2019 Twitter for iPhone Columbo's Fake Wife @SlayerofCis Adam: Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay to mould me Man, did I solicit thee from darkness to promote me? God: Hey! I'm so glad you reached out. I'm actually at capacity/helping someone else who's in crisis/dealing with personal issues and I don't think I can hold appropriat 11:18 AM Nov 19, 2019 Twitter Web App thank god for dead pilgrims @babadookspinoza Thomas Sankara: "As revolutionaries, we don't have the right to say we are tired of explaining. We must never stop explaining. We know that when the people understand, they cannot help but follow us." Me: "Hey Thomas! I'm so glad you reached out. I'm actually at capacity right 12:27 PM Nov 19, 2019 Twitter for iPhone

Search Interest

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Top Comments

toy soldier #5813
toy soldier #5813

I get what they're trying to do. Trying to show someone that you care about whatever they're going through while still saying "I'm sorry but I can't deal with it either". This, however, sounds almost robotic, like a customer support bot. And nobody likes those lousy customer service bots!

+20
BravelyDefect
BravelyDefect

Now, people do have a limit to the amount of shot they can deal with at one time. You heap too much on anybody's plate and they can just shut down.

But telling people you still care about their with a prepared copypasta is a bit contradictory.

+9

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