Woke Toddler

Woke Toddler

Part of a series on Weird Twitter. [View Related Entries]

Updated Jul 28, 2022 at 01:31AM EDT by Aidan Walker.

Added Jul 26, 2016 at 05:51PM EDT by Adam.

PROTIP: Press 'i' to view the image gallery, 'v' to view the video gallery, or 'r' to view a random entry.


The Woke Toddler is a series of Twitter jokes where the poster makes up a fantastical story about their precocious child asking them a question about politics.


While its difficult to tell when the first Woke Toddler joke appeared on Twitter, some of the earlier known instances of the "Woke Toddler" joke as its known include @kalebhorton's tweet[7] about his boy's refrigerator magnets, posted November 18th, 2014, and @SeanMcElwee's tweeted story[1] about his two-year old daughter (shown below).

Woke Toddler wants to seize the means of production


The joke format stuck around as an ironic contrast[2] to people who sincerely tweeted[3] their kids' reactions to the election until March 21st, 2016, when Esquire columnist Stephen Marche tweeted,[4] "My 4 yr old daughter, seeing a picture of Donald Trump, asks me 'why is that man so afraid daddy?' 'I don't know, sweetheart, I don't know.'"

Doubting the validity of Marche's story, Weird Twitter began directly mocking Marche,[5][6] and coming up with variations of their own.[8]

Though Marche repeatedly swore his story was true,[9] it did not stop Twitter in their mockery, leading the Daily Dot's Jay Hathaway[10] to posit that it was not the lie that was skewered, but the "smarmy, disingenuous… conceit that it's somehow novel for a child to inherit his parents' political alignment, class consciousness, or fears for the future."

My Son, 3, Who Is a Lot Smarter Than I Am

On May 21st, 2018, Twitter user @hinxminx tweeted a supposed observation from her toddler, attributing it to "My son, 3, who is a lot smarter than I am" (shown below).

Rebecca Hazelton @hinxminx Everyone dies one day. Everyone. Even wolves. But not bookS. Not words Words don't die." --my son, 3, who is a lot smarter than l am 21/05/2018, 20:55 2,742 Retweets 13.4K Likes

This sparked a wave of Woke Toddler jokes, as people wrote observations and facetiously attributed them to their children. One of the most popular was tweeted by @WoolyBully69 making a point about the 2018 World Cup that gained over 24,000 retweets and 125,000 likes (shown below, left). User @butsay tweeted a joke quoting Jay-Z's verse from Kanye West's "Monster," gaining over 60 retweets and 430 likes (shown below, right).

Rhys @WoolyBully69 Follow My son (4 days old) just told me he wants Costa Rica to win as he still hasn't forgiven Serbia for the assassination of Franz Ferdinand. 9:27 AM 17 Jun 2018 Butsay @Butsay Following the doctor hands me ma newborn son, who looks up at me n says, "sasquatch, godzilla, king kong, loch ness, goblin, ghoul, a zombie with no conscience - my son, a monster enthusiast, who is a lot smarter than I am twitter.com/hinxminx/statu.. This Tweet is unavailable.

Various Examples

Proven Content Maker @Bro_Pair Following My 5 year-old son, Clapton, turned to me from the TV, while Trump was speaking on it. He said "S------'s Full" in Randy Quaid's exact voice RETWEETS LIKES 63 393 2:05 AM-23 Mar 2016 FuzzBeed Eli @EliGieryna Follow @kalebhorton My 1-year-old saw a pic of Trump and said "His policies will cause a deflationary recession that will ruin the global economy." LIKES 3 bosh @bosh_castaway Follow my 6-year-old goblin son just stuck his fist through our new 64" flat-screen TV to punch virtual trump in the face. taking him for ice cream LIKES 19 RETWEETS DI齒園睦囧囫田 THE VING mr respectful @sexualjumanji + Follow my 3 year old daughter caught a glimpse of todays trump rally shut down and starting crying "daddy why do they want free speech to die?" RETWEETS LIKES 2 * Follow sammy @PRINCEJIHOON My 3 year-old just said "People are following Trump because they feel that they can't express their ignorant views in this PC culture." WOW RETWEETSLIKES 2 4 Follow sean. @SeanMcElwee my two year old son just asked "daddy, why does the media treat moderate leftism as a threat to society but laugh off fascism on the right?" RETWEETS LIKES 5,321 7,776

External References

Recent Videos

There are no videos currently available.

Recent Images 12 total

Top Comments

+ Add a Comment

Comments (26)

Display Comments

Add a Comment

Word Up! You must login or signup first!