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You Cannot Kill Me In A Way That Matters

You Cannot Kill Me In A Way That Matters

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you cannot kill me in a way that matters

About

You Cannot Kill Me In A Way That Matters is a phrase from a 2018 Tumblr shitpost story about mushrooms. It has since become part of Tumblr culture and spawned fan art, dramatic readings, merchandise and music.

Origin

Around June 15th, 2018, Tumblr user personsonable posted a three-paragraph story about a person asking a mushroom for the name of God under gunpoint, to which the mushroom replies by taunting its supremacy, terrifying and enraging the person.


personsonable me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal p------------ mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I'M NOT F------ SCARED OF YOU miaislying Hey OP? What the F--- does this mean? personsonable decay exists as an extant form of life miaislying That's a terrifying answer, have a nice day

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

In a series of replies that often accompanies screenshots of the post, personsonable explains that meaning behind the story:

miaislying: Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

personsonable: decay exists as an extant form of life

miaislying: That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

The post gained over 116,000 notes in two weeks, but was deleted around 2019 and only indirectly archived.[1]

Spread

A screenshot of the conversation was posted by Tumblr user stabsinthe on December 24th, 2018, gaining a further 157,000 notes.[2]


stabsinthe-archive "you cannot kill me in a way that matters" is so raw and powerful but it comes from an incomprehensible shitpost about mushrooms letthedalekssaycuck add it to the list boys mckitterick personsonable me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal p------------ mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I'M NOT F------ SCARED OF YOU miaislying Hey OP? What the F--- does this mean? personsonable decay exists as an extant form of life miaislying That's a terrifying answer, have a nice day

Screenshots were also posted across Reddit[3][4][5] and Twitter[6] over the following years, all gaining thousands of points. The story spawned many instances of fanart and comic dramatizations; for example, a post by miamitu[9] gained over 184,000 notes.


YOU CANNOT KILL ME IN A-WAY THAT MATTERS 00 Cunnt you lill men in u wng Muttes

Several dramatic readings of the story have been performed and posted on Tumblr, YouTube and TikTok. The below examples were posted on August 19th, 2020, and February 9th, 2021, gaining 68,000 likes and 89,200 likes respectively.[7][8]


https://www.tiktok.com/embed/v2/6927082509293391110

The phrase "You cannot kill me in a way that matters" also inspired music, with at least two songs carrying the phrase in its title. They were released on March 17, 2019, and February 5th, 2021, respectively (shown below).



Shroomjak Variation

After the mushroom-themed meme Shroomjak emerged in 2021, the phrase resurfaced and began being paired with the character. For example a post in /r/196[10] on June 30th, 2021 by thecatofnumbers gained over 5,300 points (shown below, left). Another was posted on 4chan on July 5th[11] (shown below, right).


can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyong anything you soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way tell me the name of god you fungal p------------ that matters I'M NOT F------ SCARED OF YOU heart TELL ME THE NAME OF GOD yoU FUNGHL P------------! can you feel your burning? can you feel the struggle within? The fear in me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in'a that matters way IM NOT SCARED OF you * Tears streaming dnun my face *

Various Examples

THE NAMECR AVENGEKYU Fu FU HRGA SU FU FU Fu FO HA HA HAMP HA HA HA 3. THA HA TELL MEHN THE NAMEG OF GOD, YOU FUNGAL PIECE OF RR S--- BA AM AVENGEKYO CAM you SCAN YOU FEEL YDUR HEART BURNING? CAN YOU EELTHE STRUGGLE WITHIN?THE FEAR WITHIN MEIS BEYONDANYTHINE youR SOUL CAN MAKES Her YoU CANNOT KILL MEINS A WAYTHAT MATZERS Hhe IM NOT FOCKING SCARED OF YOU Hea Plip Mipl elip CHK GiK AVENGEKYU CLICK Tell the name of me god you fungal p------------! CAN YOU FEEL YBUR HEART BURNING CAN YOU FEEL THE STRUGGLE WITHIN? THE FEAR VWITHW ME IS BEYOND ANYIHING YOUR SOUL CAN MAKE. YOu CANNOT Kil ME IN A WAY THAT MATTERS. I'm not- F------ SCARED OF YOU!

Search interest

External References

[1] Tumblr (archived) – personsonable

[2] Tumblr – mckitterick

[3] Reddit – ｔｅｌｌ ｍｅ ｔｈｅ ｎａｍｅ ｏｆ ｇｏｄ ｙｏｕ ｆｕｎｇａｌ ｐｉｅｃｅ ｏｆ ｓｈｉｔ

[4] Reddit – Can you kill me in a way that doesn’t matter?

[5] Reddit – me_irl

[6] Twitter – @FreyjaErlings

[7] YouTube – Luke Correia

[8] TikTok – decay is an extant form of life

[9] Tumblr – Miamitu

[10] Reddit – Extant Rule

[11] 4chan – /x/

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