c3rvida3 Follow *goes to egg your house but I find out you're vegan so I 1/4 cup of unsweetened applesauce your house instead* Dec 16

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mysharona1987 Follow Sep 9, 2024 Connie @iamthedunce Replying to @Gavin_F_Brewis Vampires don't live in castles, Count Dracula lived in a castle because he was a count, not because he was a vampire. iamnmbr3 Follow 3d ago this feels like a sensitivity training for how to not commit micro aggressions against vampires in your workplace 47,810 notes

vangObus Follow gameshow called 'pride or prejudice' in which the contestants are presented with a gay joke and have to guess if it Iwas made by a queer person or a homophobe e-the-village-cryptid Follow the contestants are all vaguely liberal straight people who are desperately uncomfortable with the entire concept

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Show some respect

fnordseer Follow it would've been cooler if those animals they sent into space came back with superpowers fnordseer i think neil armstrong and buzz aldrin would appreciate it if you used their names party-lug

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The web in a nutshell

daofeibutdead Follow May 3, 2020 if you are sleepy then you should go to sleep so you can then be not sleepy snymore and stop being sleepy because you will be sleepijg aliceinchains Oct 13, 2020 does this post rub anyone else the wrong way? like ignoring that op kind of just assumes everyone has time/the means to sleep (rich white neurotypical ect, some poor people dont have beds the voices dont stop to let some of us sleep at night) it almost seems like. idk. demanding. like, this sounds like something an abuser would say lol like the way the op doesnt really give you a choice. butjust my thoughts gayvampyr Follow Mar 28, 2022 this actually is a perfect representation of 90% of the discourse on this site 39,988 notes

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It's just random

sandersstudies Love that in a lot of classic literature people just "randomly" fall ill but bro their homes were stacked to the roof with arsenic and asbestos and lead and radium of course they were sick all the time. sandersstudies And then they're like "we took my ill wife to the seaside and her condition improved remarkably" and it's like Edward your house has seven time bombs in it please just leave your wife at the seaside and she'll do very well not getting mesothelioma. under-the-arch Edward your wife may be entitled to financial compensation

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It's haunting

Me Shirley Temple Little Darling Collection Commercial marsincharge ANIMAL CRACKERS IN MY SOUP!!! MONKEYS AND RABBITS!!! LOOP-DE-LOOP

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Truth

irlactualhuman reblogged preserves42 deprivedmusicaljunkie Follow assuming that people like you and want to spend time with you is crucial to making friends. unfortunately this is the hardest thing to do in the world 4,888 notes D

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Wahoo

high-functioning-girlfailure 1s ago kinda sick and twisted that Mario doesn't say "Hoo", instead opting for the evil, inverted variant "Wahoo" #funny #super mario #mario #wahoo Blaze ש

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It all makes sense...

AR Bat Signed By Everyone Alive $5,000-$6,000 christianstepmoms Follow I remember signing this bat lauradernfan ohhh so that's what that was for KeatonPatti

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DRINK IT

fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

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Brutal

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

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Me when:

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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How ominous

emiett Follow DIES Taking the DIES key to the OMEN room my-life-is-a-sidequest Follow me when I get you 15,027 notes WOMEN 45753

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How odd

boyzuko I recently discovered that if you tell angry middle-aged men on the internet "Sorry your divorce is going badly!" they'll think you're a wizard.

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0

Tumblr - Gotta stay respectful

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c3rvida3 Follow *goes to egg your house but I find out you're vegan so I 1/4 cup of unsweetened applesauce your house instead* Dec 16

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