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Granted, but now you start punching babies to express shock

I wish that senpai would notice me…

Granted, but he kills you for saying Senpai for the millionth fucking time.
I wish that the name Senpai be outlawed.

Granted, no one can be named senpai, but the honorific still exists and becomes even more overused

Forgot my wish,

My wish is to find an octagon

Granted, You're arrested for stealing Stop signs.

I wish for Girl Scout cookies.

Granted.

I wish for more wishes.

Granted. However, your life force has drained as a result for wishing more wishes.
I wish I had a lot of money so I can buy more toys.

Granted but you got to buy so much toys that you become famous somehow ,famous enough to have you assasinated

I wish to know how it got burnt

@Flamemario12 Granted, they're all made with lead-based paints, brittle plastics, small parts, defective electronics, and all sorts of toy building no-nos. Try not to kill yourself.

@MrOcelot Granted, you tried to microwave it, a novice move for cooking bacon. you didn't deserve it from the start.

. . .

I wish for a Spiritual Successor to Auto Modellista. No, Drift City does not count.

Granted, but all copies are destroyed by EA, because it is the best game ever made. You have the last copy left. EA is hunting you down. You don't have much time left. The copy is for X-Box One but you only have a Wii U in your safe house. It was all in vain.

I wish I could stop wishing wishes and do something productive with my life

Granted, your new occupation is now "Genie". Have fun with your new job!

. . .

I wish for a 32-bit version of Watch Dogs.

Granted, the next gen consoles can't handle "bits" and they explode. Current gen owners brag about how their consoles aren't killing them which causes the Fire Nation to attack since they all have next gen consoles. This causes what is now known as "The Great Console Wars"

I wish Ed Edd n Eddy came back

Granted. But it's shitty.
I wish for dubs

Granted, φραντεδ βυτ γου δον'τ θνδερστανδ ςηατ λανγθαγε ιτ ισ ιν

I wish I had the best taco

Granted Deadpool attacks you for it and it falls on the floor.

I wish for a Root Beer Float.

Granted, but you spill it and it ruins your shirt, which happens to be your favorite.
I wish for nuclear detonators.

granted: but malfunction every-time someone uses tide instead of oxy-clean.
I wish to the very best, like nobody ever was.

Granted, but I made that joke in this forum before so you get executed for copyright

I wish the next Persona 5 trailer would come out already

Granted. The game is delayed for several months.

I wish i had the skills/supplies to make a pokemon B2/W2 ROM hack.

Granted, it's a Creepypasta. Quite the valiant use of your skills.

. . .

I wish for a life. . . just like my Japanese animes!

Granted, But UGH! I'MTALKINGABOUTMETALGEARANDSHITANDYOURTALKINGABOUTSOMEJAPANESECARTOONSIDON'TGIVEAFUCKABOUT!

I wish they would stop playing me like a damn fiddle!

Also the anime you live in is Boku No Pico. Have fun!

granted now they played you like a basoon
I wish to be Nicholas cage

Granted, but you're allergic to bees.
I wish for self destruct.

Granted, but you are not able to play Half-Life 3.
I wish things would go as expected.

Granted, but goats are like mushrooms.
I wish that if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.

Granted, but the new laws of physics make the universe unstable and it implodes.
I wish celery tasted like chocolate.

Granted but they taste like 5 year old chocolate
I wish for toasters from australia to invade antartica and a platypus to sucker punch hitler in the throat

Granted, but you aren't able to make stupid wishes anymore

I wish Elliot Rodger came back as a righteous pursuer of justice!

Granted. You must die before this happens.

I wish my skin would stop peeling.

Granted, you get internal bleeding instead

I wish Half Life 3 was an overpriced mobile game with awful microtransactions

Granted, but it's constantly promoted

I wish to not lose my way

Granted, but you constantly lose your pants.

I wish for a strawberry shortcake.

Granted, her corpse will appear on your doorstep whenever you eat something with more than 150 calories thar isn't berry related.

I wish someone would post a picture of a nice ass in this fourm.

Granted, but it's a donkey

I wish for Reddit to stop making Advice Animals

Granted, 4chan makes a shit ton of advice animals

I wish /b/ didn't exist

Granted, le 9gag army takes over. and everyone gets cancer
I wish to be the. very best like everyone ever was

Granted, but you lose your individuality and lose your way.

I wish someone would post a link to a really bad fanfiction. REALLY BAD! I want to read one.

Granted. A fanfic tale recollecting the events of the love affair between OP and dicks, filled with wish fulfillment, Mary Sues, Nice Guys™, Neckbeards, hyper-unrealistic anatomy, and tons and tons of glopping! Too bad it's written in an unknown language that no one understands!

. . .

I wish I had art skills like Studio SHAFT.

Granted, but you only draw little girls at weird angles

I wish Hoenn was never confirmed.

Granted, half life 3 was confirmed instead
I wish for hollywood to make a good videogame movie and videgame companies to make good movie games

Granted, but they get negative reviews anyway, causing them to stop being made

I wish Armin would stop being such a little bitch

Granted, Armin becomes He-Armin, and proceeds to slay all the Titans using his godlike strength, tactical brilliance, and dashing good looks! There is nowhere for the show to go, thus bringing an abrupt end to it all. . .

. . .

My B-Day's coming up, I want cake.

Granted, but he becomes a mega-bitch
I wish to do infinite barrel rolls.

DJKing Granted: Today is my birthday so you get all the leftover cake.

Fox Mccloud Granted: the G-Forces accumulate and eventually kill you.

I wish for a SPACESHIP!!!!

granted, but it is infested with xenomorphs, the flood, and necromorphs

I wish for my very own gundam

Granted. It's tiny, weak, and can't take a hit.

I wish for fishnet stockings that never rip.

Granted, but they can never come off your skin

I wish for infinite amounts of incorruptible wishes

Granted. You get baned.

I wish for more art supplies.

Granted, but you get crushed under an avalanche of paint brushes and colored pencils.

I wish for my waifu to become real.