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Granted, They all blow themselves up and they did it near your house.

I wish I have my own TARDIS

EDIT Page get.

Granted. The TARDIS explodes because it was near the exploding spambots.
I wish tumblr didnt have shitty ass gifs.

Granted, but it is now populated with literal shitty asses.

I wish for a chance to 420 noscope someone.

Granted. As soon as you do it you get robbed of all money and get your account banned from the game/service.
I wish I didnt suck at finding gifs.

Granted. But you will be arrested for piracy.
I wish for a scarf.

Granted. It eats your head.
I wish levelling wasnt slow as shit in WoW.

Granted. All players suddenly max their levels and the game isn't fun anymore.
I wish for a copy of Sonic 06.

Granted. It kills you.
I wish for Crescent Rose, Magnhild, and Ember Cecilia to be real weapons I can physically use and handle.

Granted, you are arrested for possession of illegal weapons, and the weapons are confiscated.
I wish for chicks all over me.

Technically, they come from a world where giant ass weapons ARE legal, therefore they should be immune to US laws.
ANYWAYS
Granted. They overheat you and melt your body down into goop.
I wish Nora would steal the weapons back for me and break the officer's legs.

Granted. The Weapons that Nora gave to you was water guns.
I wish for a box.

Like this

Granted. It is stepped on by an elephant.
I wish for a rabbit.

Granted. Instead, you get the most ill-tempered rabbit with the largest fangs that can jump 20 feet from person to person and has the longest killing streak in all of the medieval ages.

I wish for the rain to stop where I'm at.

Granted, where ever you go a drought follows causing you to become a pariah who is constantly chased out of town.

I wish for a Bowie knife.

Granted. It's dull as fuck.
I wish water weapons were lethal.

Granted. Everyone is allowed to shoot you on sight if you hold one.

I wish for the imminent destruction of the Human Race.

Granted. All the idiots die and we have no one left to bitch at.
I wish I was immune to water weapon's lethality.

Granted, but you manage to drown yourself thinking your lungs can handle actual water.

I wish for some GEWUN

Granted. It sucks.
I wish I ressurected myself and became immortal, so i could steal cecilia, rose, and magnhild back.

Granted. As a result of your immortality, they all die of old age and you can never see your friends again and have to live out your life in forever solitude.

I wish for mo money.

Granted. You now have money.
I wish my immortality still let me die of old age.

Granted. But you will be on trial by the elder gods for breaking the rules of immortality.
I wish for some peanut brittle.

Granted. It's expired.
I wish I could get Kratos to kill the Elder Gods.

Granted, but it happens after your trial.

I wish for Geico automotive insurance.

Granted. Geico becomes Ubishaft on cocaine at 3 AM.
I wish I knew the Elder God's weaknesses so I could kill them. (who are they, anyways?)

Granted, without the Elder Gods Cthulhu runs roughshod all over creation.

I wish for Clorox bleach.

Granted. You get Ajax instead of Clorox.

I wish for a tank so I could run over the neighbors dog who keeps shitting on my lawn.

Granted. You are arrested and shot by a firing squad for posession of government/military property.
I wish i could summon the Old Gods, the TPP pantheon, the Titans, and have them fight the Elder Gods before my trial.

Granted. They kill the Elder Gods, but they don't like being summoned and end up squishing you in the end.

I wish I could have authorization for using military property. The dog must die.

but..muh immortality :c
Granted. You get a shitflinger that flings shit covered in bacon grease instead of a tank.
I wish I got Crescent Rose back.

Granted.But you will have to pay shipping and handling.
I wish for some seanut brittle

Granted. You get Peanut Butter as a result of Amazon fucking up your order.

I wish for space travel and aliens.

Granted, you quickly realize how agoraphobic and xenophobic you are.

I wish for a Mr. Spock action figure.

Granted. You receive 47.4 boxes of Mr. Spock action figures, and they are all damaged.

I wish for a Mr. Furry casual figure.

Granted. It's not furry at all.
I wish I could find more ammo for all my guns in new vegas.

Granted. You get Cazadors.

I wish for my wishes to come true.

Granted. It lasts all of a millisecond.
I wish my AP never ran out so i could kill all those motherfucking Cazadors.

Granted. You never had it in the first place so it can never run out to begin with.
I wish for a tasty pizza.

Granted. It is only a mildly tasty pizza.

I wish for PC to become Master Race.

Granted, you are a filthy console peasant.
(Also haha, that was the exact rabbit I wanted.)
I wish for a sword made of bread.

Granted but the sword has tumors

I wish for a very soft green hoodie

Granted, it's children's sized and resemble the one worn by the child who recently went missing in your area.

I wish for a crescent wrench.

Granted. You get a croissant wrench.

I wish for eternal back pain for everyone on Planet Earth.

Granted. It happens for one second and then it's done.
I wish I still had my VATS to kill these cazadors :c

Granted, but you find out you lack the cold-blooded disregard for life.

I wish for a boat.

Granted. You soon realize that you don't have the money to wish for a boat and opt for an RC boat instead.

I wish for a flamethrower that shoots bubbles.

Granted. It shoots one bubble before shooting fire.
I wish liberal_genius died.

Granted, more users take his place.

I wish for lasers.

Granted. They're inferior to Plasma technology.
I wish for kebab.

Granted, it's removed instantly.
I have lost my way and i wish to find it.