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Granted, now you have all the pussy, the pussycats, that is.
…
I wish that I shall obtain; now and at all times hence; legally and without harm to others or myself, all such material possesions as I, being of sound mind, desire, and that receipt of same should occur within twenty-four earth hours (one day) of the desire becoming known to me. Unless during that period I decide, of my own free well, that I do not wish to receive said item or items.

Granted but everything is a cheap knock-off.

I wish for a Chaos Emerald.

Granted But you become the edgiest man on earth
I wish the city of townsvile STOPPED BEING UNDER ATTACK

Granted, the city of Townsville no longer exists.
I wish I could travel between the real world and fictional worlds at will.

Granted, but you always appear where nothing interesting is happening.

I wish for Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Granted, but it's 200 years old
I wish Milhouse was a meme

Granted, but "Milhouse isa meme" is not a meme
I wish for you to get cancer AIDS

Granted. You get it too.

I wish that all feminazis would go die in a hole.

Granted. All feminazis instantly die and their bodies are dumped in the world's deepest hole…
Saddly, the feminazis souls fuse togheter, creating the ultimate Feminazi being…
The ultimate feminazi embodies of each and every feminist. From Anita Sarkeesian, to the social justice warriors from Tumblr. May god help us. What have you DONE queenofderp??? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ?

I wish Nintendo buys Capcom

Granted, however they just get stuck making only Mega Man sequels.
I wish for a sequel to Psychonauts.

Granted. It sucks ass.

I wish i had the power to make any ship cannon.

Granted, You are now a authority of weapons research able to design naval artillery as you please.

I wish I had every game on GoG.

Granted. They're all demo versions.

I wish I had the entire arsenal from the Russian Overkill (all with full ammo) in my possession

This to be exact

Granted you now live inside the game.
I wish for Gainax to make a second season of Panty and Stocking.

Granted. It's blasted and panned by everybody and Gainax is forced to shut down.
I wish RWBY was real and the whole world acted like Remnant (weapons included)

Granted. The entire universe resets to become the RWBY universe and you don't exist in this new universe.

I wish I had an epic gamer PC that runs perfectly.

Granted.He runs on Win 95.

I wish for an insult.

You get a sheet of paper with the words ''An insult'' in it.
I wish fo-

Error 50147: Cannot Load Wish
Code Red:
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d654aw4d6132x1cz654c8aw9e56a1d231xc32z1c1c32x1z
das68dw6q8e7q8eas54dx21c3z21c32z1c3xzc1a564ede7
d9q87wd94sc6a1c2zx1c3zx1c3zx1c3z2x1cw8e7q98e777

Avast fixes the corrupted wish, the wish reads "I wish for this forum to corrupt", well I guess it worked, on him.

I wish for just a cheese omelette.

Granted, the cheese isn't melted and the eggs aren't fully cooked. Also there's a spider on the plate.

I wish for a Maglite flashlight.

Granted. You still need batteries.
I wish for a Anti-Corrupt system for my wishes.

Granted. It explodes on the first use.
I wish for something to think of.

Granted. You thought of thinking about thinking about something.
I wish for Nintendo to add Diddy Kong as a DLC character to Mario Kart 8.

Granted. He costs $999,999,999,999 and sucks ass at smash.
I wish miiverse would shut down.

Granted, although you find yourself using it one day.

I wish to be a tree.

Granted. You're high as fuck forever and are always associated with marijauna and drugs if you become popular.
I wish for a flamethrower with a flame retardant suit.

Granted, you get cut down later that day.

I wish for people to realize its RiBFiR and not RiRFiB

EDIT: ninja'd

Granted you get stabbed in the back by a masked man with a french accent

Granted. Everyone still calls it RiBFiR.
I wish for Shrek.

Granted But there is no downside of this wish.
Shrek is love
Shrek is life
…
I wish for the fluffiest thing ever.

Granted, but it's also covered in a deadly poison that can kill you in 5 seconds upon contact to human skin

I wish every spider was cute

Granted. They all bite you.
I wish for a Zero Point Energy Gun.

Granted, but you only get one shot.

I wish for a hurricane lantern.

granted. it lasts all of five seconds.
i wish for left 4 dead 3

Granted. It's in development Hell.
I wish for my Steam wallet to be endless.

granted, you get bored of all your games
i wish for project zomboid to be cheaper

Granted, meaning it is of piss poor quality.

I wish for an Orange Crush.

Granted. Project Zomboid's piss poor quality leaked into your Orange Crush and poisoned you.
I wish i had something to fap to.

Granted, Boku No Pico
I wish for Inflation Fetishes to die in a hole.

Granted, but you find it oddly arousing to watch.

I wish for Dr. Scholl's shoe inserts.

Granted. You are now permanently shrunk to an inch and inserted into Dr. Scholl's shoe.

I wish to have a car that is sentient and can speak, without having the wish to take over humanity.

granted but it decides to hold you hostage for all of eternity.

I wish there was a marvel/dc fighting game

Granted, The only playable characters are Billy Ray Cyrus and Aqualad.
I wish for the moon to fall to earth and kill everyone.

Granted, the moon now moves 1 centimeter closer to earth every millennium.
I wish for a solid gold lamborghini.

granted, but it can't actually be driven.

i wish there was ace combat/gundam crossover

Granted, the only copy of it was squished by my solid gold Lamborghini that weigh a ton. I would move it, but alas, its not drivable.
I wish for a blank piece of paper.

Granted. The paper is wet.
I wish for nothing.

Granted, you and everything around you become nothing.

I wish for my own Let's Play Channel.

Granted. The Bros downvote all of your videos because all you can do is copy PewDiePie.

I wish Gaben left a wish so that way I can think of a way to corrupt it.

Granted. The wish makes you die.
I wish the spambots all died a horrible death.