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@ pizzaguy granted but you can only wish for a swift kick to the nuts.
(Since your first wish is still corruptable)

PSST! you'resupposedtomakeawish

Granted, She doesn't like you. At all.

I wish for Jumbo Fried Shrimp.

Granted, but their still alive and giant sized.

I wish that we could all have a funny conversation and all become friends

Granted, the group disbands due to no popular opinion.

I wish for a microwave oven

Granted, it becomes a Decepticon

I wish to advance science so I can find new ways to ruin people's days with ponies

granted, the ponies focus on ruining your day instead.

i wish for all A's in my classes.

Granted. Everyone in your classes name is changed to A.

I wish that i had an Attack on Titan themed team on pokemon Y.

Granted, They're based on background characters and get eaten.

I wish for Tootsie Pops.

Granted, too bad the outer layer is made with a confection sugar that's 100 times more resilient than a Everlasting Gobstopper. Try to get to the center of that!

. . .

I just want Friends, Romans, Countrymen, and everything in between to congregate for the celebration of the anniversary of the birth of This Guy!

Granted, but you're not invited.

I wish I can eat sweets and not get fat.

Granted, everything else you eat will make you gain 100 pounds.

I wish people will visit my forum called 'Shonen Anime Ideas', a satiric forum that makes fun of over the top Shonen series by writing silly stories filled with tropes. Visit! Please!

Granted – every thread devolves into a futa porn thread

I wish for DA RULES to be destroyed

Granted, the fairies become grammar nazis and make The Rules more strict and punishing

I wish I am become autism

Granted, you also become death.

I wish I had nipples on my buttcheeks

Granted: business meetings are ruined because you get an awkward boner when sitting down.

I wish for futa ponies

Granted, But they are realistic
I wish for a rorriM

Granted, but you aren't as clever as you think.

I wish that 4chan would make more Elliot Rodger greentext stories

Granted but they suck

I wish for propane and propane accessories

Granted, but you also get explosions and explosions accesories
I wish For James Sunderland

Granted, but you also get aids.
I wish for more cowbell.

Granted, but you blow it away.

I wish I wrote the best troll fic in all of history.

Granted, nobody reads it.

I wish for French Silk Pie.

Granted, it's litterally made out of silk.
I wish for a delicius cupcake.

Granted. It's been sitting in the freezer for 2 weeks.

I wish for senpai to notice me.

Granted, but now it's at stalker levels.
I wish for a balloon, a simple, harmless balloon

Granted, it pops instantly.
I wish for Sonic 06 to be remade, but better.

Granted, everyone still hates it.
I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST, LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS

Granted, but CATCHING THEM IS NOT YOUR TEST, AND TRAINING THEM IS NOT YOUR CAUSE!

I wish for super smash brothers 4 to get an anime produced by shaft.

Granted, but CATCHING THEM IS NOT YOUR TEST, AND TRAINING THEM IS NOT YOUR CAUSE!

I wish for super smash brothers 4 to get an anime produced by shaft.

Granted, It's produced by John Shaft

I wish for a Nestle Crunch bar

Granted, it has glass in it for that extra crunch!

I wish this wish was incorruptiblele

Granted, however, the other wish you made was corrupted.
I wish I pilot a mobile suit.

Granted, you get your casual suit.
I wish for something bad.

Granted, its your wish.
I wish for meta knight to be in ssb4.

Granted. He isn't nearly as badass as he was in brawl.

I wish for Attack on Titan season 2 to come out.

Granted, but you have to wait an unbearably long time for season 3.

I wish for a corndog.

Granted. It is an actual dog made of corn.
I wish autocorrect would stop being so ducking shitty.

Granted, AutoCorrect become improved hundred-fold, to the point that it has the capability to read minds and text automatically based on your unfiltered train of thought. Good luck trying not to accidentally give others a piece of your real mind.

. . .

I wish Steam Summer Sale started a week earlier. . .

Granted but the sale is only 1% off

I wish to join the kill la kill universe and be a major character who is not hated or did not die

Granted, even though you only appear at the end of each episode and deliver the last line you are considered a main character.
I wish my waifu Stocking Anarchy was real and in love with me.

Granted, Panty Anarchy is real and is in love with you.

I wish I have a secret army.

Granted, it's so secret even you don't know about it.

I wish for a Black and Decker cordless drill.

Granted, it's actually a deception.
I wish for a can of beans.

Granted. They are bargain brand.

I wish to be the greatest fan fiction writer of all time.

Granted, but you need to write "My Immortal" first
I wish for Pokemon to become real

Granted, we just call animals Pokemon now.
I wish King K. Rool will appear as a playable character in Super Smash Bros for3DS/WiiU.

Granted, but he's the worst character in the game.

I wish I can travel to the future.

Granted, but only in real time.

I wish for bubble gum.

Granted, I pre-chewed it though, you might can get a little bit of flavor out of it. . .

. . .

I wish I could Gibe De Pusi B0ss.