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Granted. It's a tie.

I wish for a tie for my suit.

Granted. Now you have to fight an army of NintenDylan.
I wish for Kebab that does not kill me or grant me misfortune in any way, shape, or form. Also the kebab cannot be removed.
Edit: GODDAMNIT FURRY.
Granted. Your tie chokes you to death.
I still wish for the kebab that can't be removed, does not kill me, and cannot grant me misfortune in any way, shape, or form.

Granted. Your bitch bites your leg off and leaves you to bleed to death.
I want my goddamn corrupted kebab.

Granted, na just kidin fgt

I wish for a new banana

Granted, It is so new that it is actually a banana seed.
I wish I had a dick on my forehead.

granted, but it stuck up your mom's ass

i wish i had my own gundam

Granted. It's one of the scrapped Doozy Bots from the unaired American 90's version.
I wish Gainax would resolve all their bizarre endings to their series.

Granted. They're all absolutely shit.

You didnt make a wish. The guiltiness quickly reaches your heart as you cry in sorrow. You find yourself walking around your house, thinking of a possible way to return to the past and make that unreachable wish. Eventually, you succumb into madness.

I wish I could stop time.

Granted. It works for only one use and then you have to absorb radiation to use it again.
I wish for a pet cow in a glass case that would always come back to me no matter what happened to it. This includes it's death.

granted: the cow was just an illusion cast by the matrix

i wish i had a foot long sandwich with turkey, ham, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, black olives, banana peppers, mayonnaise, and mustard all on Italian bread.

Granted. It's not in the order you like.
I wish hot chocolate would stop fucking spilling over my goddamn shirt.

Granted, the hot chocolate has stopped fucking your friend "Spilling over my goddamn shirt". He's been through a lot, but it's finally over for him now. Unfortunately the hot chocolate proceeds to spill over your shirt instead though.

I wish everyone could learn to love the movie Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 as much as I do.

Granted. You find the third Baby Geniuses film to be better and grow to hate the second one while everyone disagrees with you on your new found opinion. I wish M. Night Shyamalan would have received praise for The Last Airbender.

No. I'm not even gonna grant you that wish because of how shitty that movie was. NO.
I wish for a doge kebab.

Granted, but you now speak doge language
I wish for 1000000 Dolla$

Granted, the Tax Man and gold diggers get a hold of it and leave you $750 in debt.

I wish for an Egg McMuffin.

Granted. You get an egg burrito instead.

I wish for total annihilation of all Egg McMuffin's in existence.

Granted, but everyone comes after you and demolishes your house for what you wished for.
I wish for it to begin.

Granted, but the same happens to you.
I wish for a number of my karma received to be over 9000!

granted: but it looks like someone just downvoted. I mean it wasn't me or anything, but it looks like you wish was corrupted before i got here so.

i wish i had more money

granted. it's all black cash and the feds are all over you
i wish for a Shibe.

Granted. It gets really annoying really fast.

I wish that shipping real life people was a crime punishable by death.

Granted. All the executions failed because the judges had the same ships.

I wish for the ceasing of all Soccer events because I'm getting sick of hearing about it.

Granted. Now they never shut up about whatever the next sporting event is.
I wish I had the power to bring my drawings to life.

Granted, they don't want to hang out with you.

I wish for a silver bullet.

granted but it can't be fired

i wish i was rich

Granted, but you have anal intruders.
I wish for gmod to be real

Granted, but you can't spawn objects.
I wish to be a taco.

Granted, but you can't spawn objects.
I wish to be a taco.

Granted, you get Double Post Taco from Taco Bell, now 19.99 USD.

I wish for all chick-flick movies to die out within the first week of showing in theatres.

Granted, but that just makes Hollywood crank them out faster.

I wish for drum sticks.

Granted. Your arms are now drumsticks.
I wish for a new mask.

Granted. The mask now replaces your mask and you can't remove it. It's also infested with ants that have access to your brain.
I wish KYM would stop sending notifications twice to my email.

Granted. It will now send three.
I wish for a new hat.

Granted. It's a ghastly gibus.
I wish Nexus servers didnt suck so much.

Granted. Nexus Servers are in prime condition but any game that uses a Nexus Server is played mainly by vulgar ten year olds.

I wish I did not suffer from Hayfever during the summer.

i meant the mod site you fucking uncultured swine. how dare you imply nexus is a goddamn multiplayer server. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU
Granted. But the aftereffects still linger.
I wish for twitter hashtags to eat shit.

Granted. but an even worse trend is born from the ashes

i wish i wasn't fat

Granted, you become thin but then become so fat to the point of immobility have fun

I wish I had a cute loyal girlfriend who is bigger than me and becomes my wife who dies the same time as me at an old age

Granted, you grow tired of her after the first few years and your life becomes a living hell.
I wish Samurai Jack gets the proper ending it deserves.

Granted, but the ending is that the show is all just a coma dream for Jack

I wish I would never get bored of my cute loyal girlfriend from my previous wish and she would not be bored of me

Granted. NintenDylan's counter still stands.

I wish I had a Turkey Sandwich that never gets dry.

Granted, it is completely soaking wet.
I wish I could get a voice acting job.

Granted. You get to voice the Adoring Fan 2.0.
I wish Cass would let me change her fucking inventory items (trail carbines are shit compared to assault carbines and i wanna give her power armor)

Granted, but you must now play the game on Hardcore mode, meaning she could die.
I wish I could be more creative.

Granted, you are now planning to divide by zero which could destroy the whole universe in a millisecond.
I wish i have the power to slow down time.

Granted but it slows you down
I wish to erese the memory that i searched anal vore

Granted, every time you erase the memory you turn around and look up anal vore.

I wish for leather gloves.

Granted. You put your hands in the gloves and some sticky fluid is inside……
I wish that I could easily articulate what I want to say without needing to type it out.