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You Need A Firmware Upgrade In The Form Of "Coffee"
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About
You Need A Firmware Upgrade In The Form Of "Coffee" is a copypasta that originated from a Chuck Wendig tweet attempting to give his followers encouragement on a Wednesday. The tweet was widely thought of as cringeworthy and has been parodied in numerous ways, often with various Soy signifiers.
Origin
On July 10th, 2019, Chuck Wendig tweeted:
WEDNESDAY. The day you flumpty-foo! And you think boopty-bop and zippity-zoom but the truth is, razza frazza wuzza wooza. What I'm trying to say is, maybe your brain isn't working either, but that's OK, because you're great. PS you need a firmware upgrade in the form of "coffee."

Spread
The tweet instantly became a copypasta. The day it was tweeted, Twitter user @boring_as_heck[1] reposted it verbatim, gaining over 60 retweets and 780 likes (shown below, left). Since then, the copypasta has regularly been reposted on Wednesdays on Twitter. For example, on February 3rd, 2021, user @jonny_is_good[2] posted it, gaining over 280 likes (shown below, right).


In the summer of 2020, Twitter user @_flowerguardian, now suspended, posted a picture of Wendig and Lin Manuel Miranda with a riff on the copypasta, writing, "Good flumpy morning to our epic wife! Its us, your two cromulent husbands. Is your noggin a little frizzle frazzled? I think you need an upgrade in the form of coffee and smooches. Maybe perchance some downstairs smooches for our sm3xy wife ;))" (shown below, left). This spawned an offshoot of the copypasta that was paired with pictures of multiple men.
On March 24th, 2023, Twitter user @fart[3] reposted Wendig's tweet as a way to mock him for being the face of the Internet Archive Copyright Case, gaining over 2,200 retweets and 17,000 likes (shown below, right).


Various Examples






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Top Comment
big_king_smegma
Apr 06, 2023 at 02:22PM EDT