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Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti Follow l forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page. LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words. LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch. LAWYER (CONT 'D) If Bo, you can act entitled for money. I'll help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs. Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TOO CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun We see the Bill of Rights. It's in ov. The lawyer wil.1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge' s gavel for you. The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth. LAWYER (CONT'D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado. LAWYER (CONT'D) unless you pay us money. Call for a The phone digits appear. It's your social security number Remember, you don't pay any money free use of phone

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Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of horror movies and then asked it to write a horror movie of its own. Here is the first page. HORROR MOVIE EXT. HOUSE THAT WEARS HOCKEY MASK An OLD MAN cuts the grass by stabbing it with an axe. 4 TEENS arrive in a car that runs on sex. They exit car. It is Spring Break, time for teens to guzzle fluids and die off. TEEN 1 Old man, you do not belong. We rent this house for week of young times. OLD MAN I am caretaker. I care. Do not stay in house. Kitchen is a monster. Witch is basement. Beds are ghosts. Sink hates priests. TV is a book. TEEN 2 Get buried. You are a waste of age! Teen 2 is the state jerk. His college major is Vodka Law. TEEN 3 Maybe we leave? This place gives me the crepes. TEEN 4 Stop acting chicken. Your virginity is making you a bird, as usual. The house door swings open. A little girl comes out orphanly. TEEN 2 Your sobriety is not appreciated. Teen 2 throws a can of gin at the little girl. The little girl turns into a TEXAS CHAINSAW, but is still orphan. TEXAS CHAINSAW Die, y'all. Houston Dallas. Teen 3 makes a scream. Teen 4 makes a Scream 2. The Texas Chainsaw cuts off Teen 2's body. His blood says hi to all. TEEN 1 No! Teen 2 needs a body to drink. Teen 3 calls 911 but a Frankenstein answers and is upset. OLD MAN Run into the car. Go! I end this. Teen 1 and Teen 3 run into house. Teen 4 runs into chainsaw. OLD MAN (CONT'D) That is not the car. >

Botnik Studios @botnikstudios •OTNIK We used predictive keyboards trained on all seven books to ghostwrite this spellbinding new Harry Potter chapter botnik.org/content/harry-.. THE SPELLBINDINC NATIONAL BESTSELLER Harty Potter yey had and mn wid Hey d The D that d iw He Fer depel h ein l Vd d nery lde wnd ly "Temde ha e layhe y h ide er bdy r nd a The deple b t n tha R d Ro anding oude dhe d andeod Ther d d wiches rknd den adel Te hee f Dh a ed Reched and the Pabuit f adat Lookad Like dogh Harye depel He e i The De E w dl Hay ww hnge du e had ever heen "Lakd M S , de ybed g The Sd de ing o bow d ng lend " VOMENH Hers an nd H lyd D t al pend wa a Jange Re f Ah The G Hll wd w iole moing d w s d y M f opldel Sedg i h d Ho Du id e whool a had de d the 7 e me d D "Thunk E dly ked fdpl Ow the ndakidepd Al eer D E daped ps Then tey MGnagill Due's yk'mpld he he The f h he g pd pd e p buling 4 plad Du e hand had dhe plan magk ceilin Hag Magi good "We're the only people who matter. He's never going to get rid of us," Harry, Hermione, and Ron said in chorus. Le acros andi The floor of the castle seemed like a large pile of magic. The Dursleys had never been to the castle and they were not about to come there in Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash. Harry looked around and then fll down the spiral staircase for the rest of the summer. Re Conf 3BOTNK "I'm Harry Potter," Harry began yelling. "The dark arts harriad ah houl" 11:02 AM · 12 Dec 17

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Cary Huang @realCarykh I forced a bot to watch all 25 episodes of Battle for Dream Island and then asked it to draw a new scene of its own Here is the last page.

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I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Fox News segments and then asked it to write a Fox News segment of its own. Here is the first page.

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These "I forced a bot to watch X" posts are almost certainly 100% human-written with no bot involved. Here's how you can tell. 1/12

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i forced a bot to let over 1,000 jokes go over its head on twitter and then asked it to write a comment on this tweet. here is the comment.

i forced a bot to let over 1,000 jokes go over its head on twitter and then asked it to write a comment on this tweet. here is the comment. Maximilian von Gaisberg @grunzwanzling42 Follow Replying to @KeatonPatti The script is great, but I highly doubt that a bot actually did write that. The overall structure is way to coherent even for state- of-the-art neural networks. There are also things in there that don't appear in any Saw movie like "Trump" or "Whale" 2:38 PM-3 Mar 2018 8 Retweets 644 Likes

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I forced a bot to read over 1,000 tweets claiming to be scripts written by bots online, then asked it to write a script itself. It wrote these two pages, then hung itself.

l forced a bot to read over 1,000 tweets claiming to be scripts written by bots online, then asked it to write a script itself. It wrote these two pages, then hung itself SITTING ON A Low MOUND, IS CHECKING TWITTER ON BOTH HIS PHONE INULTANEOUSLY VLADIMIR es on their own They all follow the same structure boring greetings that perfectly follow genre a set of tions ADIMİR a string of incoherent uxtapositions that merely exist to ish the lie of being created by a robot, that waste the reader's Several pages spread over ultiple inages, only for the ultimate ine to be a slightly incongruous image that would have been ruous no matter what, and is not improved by all the setup ESTRAGON to be done VLADIMIR nning to come around to that opinion myself. Especially with to jokes on Twitter, where the premise is that nt written by a robot, despite being written by a human q time is part of the genre, as if to let the reader thinkoh obviously a robot wouldn't have a straight throughline from to joke."But if the audience already knows it's a Joke, it's in re a piece ESTRAGON t's inherently wrong with a joke having a ie as part of its k you're just jealous that they get more retweets than your treatises on comedy VLADIMIR VLADIMIR joke wouldn't be funny without it being framed as being ereated ve actor, then is it really furny at all? The premise "a robot expect conedy to actually make me laugh! lis" is just asking the audience to lower their standards ESTRAGON ESTRAGON I think they're funny. So do thousands of other people, ally? Isn't that just part of the setup of the joke? "But I AM Pagliacci" isn't funny without the premise that a man a doctor, yet implies no dishonesty by asking the reader to : that a man went to the doctor ntly. I don't think we're going to agree on this one g to be done think of only one thing VLADIMIR VLADIMIR rue. But the joke is still funny if you don't believe that the : to the doctor. Is the sane true for the robot joke, if you : as a joke with a robot in the premise, and not a joke created ON STARTS BREAKDANCING ot? Is it really? ESTRAGON ENE sing you don't think it is

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I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page.

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Tired of waiting for the next season of Game of Thrones? Given up on the hope that George RR Martin will ever finish the next book? Worry not, I forced a bot to learn every single book from the ASOIAF series, and asked it to write the most likely ending

Tired of waiting for the next season of Game of Thrones? Given up on the hope that George RR Martin will ever finish the next book? Worry not, I forced a bot to learn every single book from the ASOIAF series, and asked it to write the most likely ending This is an extract. Birds festered in the cro wd and alag-about arekery. .14id. blood squirted out of Tyrion Lannister, as his shoulders slumped, hard, against the King. They struck her face between two fish as easily as a beetroot that spilled over the sea. The bloody trees were moving away from Westeros, and they roamed the North. All Bran had to do was no thing. His Aya s looking at Grezbeard's wagons hanging from his eyes, he wheeled them back and forth until they made her skin crawl. confortable. Iyrion sighed a great deal, as heaa dead. "ell thia ia sbeurd", he refleeted. The King pointed to ㄾ child, and aid ·lt 1 feeble and helpless and I abould coaand it to die. The Kle豸 was called Cutjack wa8 the Lord of Light. sround the Prince, anorted, and sallow manhood. "Perbsps you1 nilk it?" he asked. Arza threw is in his eyes. "No".,he thought politelz The Iron Throne wae gro ing taller with every stroke, and Jon could hear the laughter of his uncle follow him to Dorne like the shrieks of a vengeful moth. The children exchanged uneasy glances. His sword hilt horse?"ced nd oiled" ..Yotg will oot be Queen! he relled, and swept her oush off her face. The naid was dead aad ber Bunder

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I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of the Transformers movies and then asked it to write a Transformers movie of its own. Here is the first page.

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I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Adam Sandler movies and then asked it to write another one, but all my knives are missing now?

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I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of the Saw movies and then asked it to write a Saw movie of its own. Here is the first page.

Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti l forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of the Saw movies and then asked it to write a Saw movie of its own. Here is the first page. SEXY DOLL Becky, you are ineide a whale SAW 9: SAWITDABA DA BANG DA BANG DIGG cky now realizes she's inside a whale. She's fine w INT. WHALE SEXY DOLL (CONT D) A sexy woman, BECKY SEXWOMAN, įs cove a bed. She s in a whale, but doesn't I hid the key to this whale inside your pancrea BECKY (whispers to self) BECKY AH! Blood is supposed to inside my body, not outside Good thing I'm a pancreas doctor SEXY DOLL An old TV turns on. We know it's old cobwebs and voted for Trump. The doll appears on the screen, but this time he's sexier because he's covered in s But since I know you're a pancreas doctor, I took it out of your pancreas and put it in one of your kidneys. The cool one SEXY DOLL (whispers to self) Hello, Becky. Want to play Ah, f---. I don't know kidneys countdown starts counting down from one hour on the BECKY Yes. of course. Don't be si Yes. 100%. Game please. SEXY DOLL Whoa, what the f--- is that? i didn't do that. Who did that? Becky still doesn't realize she's ins e whale did that

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I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Pirates of the Caribbean movies and then asked it to write a Pirates movie of its own. Here is the first page.

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+47

I Forced a Bot - Lawyer X Bill of Rights OTP

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Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti Follow l forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page. LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words. LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch. LAWYER (CONT 'D) If Bo, you can act entitled for money. I'll help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs. Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TOO CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun We see the Bill of Rights. It's in ov. The lawyer wil.1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge' s gavel for you. The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth. LAWYER (CONT'D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado. LAWYER (CONT'D) unless you pay us money. Call for a The phone digits appear. It's your social security number Remember, you don't pay any money free use of phone

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VinchVolt

VinchVolt

Dec 16, 2018 at 09:08AM EST

Is "I forced a bot" the new "I came up with something completely absurd but refuse to acknowledge that I made it"?

+36

Genral Urist

Genral Urist

Dec 16, 2018 at 09:15PM EST

"has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely?"

That escalated quickly. Also, China_IRL.

+6

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