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Origin Entry: I Forced a Bot

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Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of horror movies and then asked it to write a horror movie of its own. Here is the first page. HORROR MOVIE EXT. HOUSE THAT WEARS HOCKEY MASK An OLD MAN cuts the grass by stabbing it with an axe. 4 TEENS arrive in a car that runs on sex. They exit car. It is Spring Break, time for teens to guzzle fluids and die off. TEEN 1 Old man, you do not belong. We rent this house for week of young times. OLD MAN I am caretaker. I care. Do not stay in house. Kitchen is a monster. Witch is basement. Beds are ghosts. Sink hates priests. TV is a book. TEEN 2 Get buried. You are a waste of age! Teen 2 is the state jerk. His college major is Vodka Law. TEEN 3 Maybe we leave? This place gives me the crepes. TEEN 4 Stop acting chicken. Your virginity is making you a bird, as usual. The house door swings open. A little girl comes out orphanly. TEEN 2 Your sobriety is not appreciated. Teen 2 throws a can of gin at the little girl. The little girl turns into a TEXAS CHAINSAW, but is still orphan. TEXAS CHAINSAW Die, y'all. Houston Dallas. Teen 3 makes a scream. Teen 4 makes a Scream 2. The Texas Chainsaw cuts off Teen 2's body. His blood says hi to all. TEEN 1 No! Teen 2 needs a body to drink. Teen 3 calls 911 but a Frankenstein answers and is upset. OLD MAN Run into the car. Go! I end this. Teen 1 and Teen 3 run into house. Teen 4 runs into chainsaw. OLD MAN (CONT'D) That is not the car. >

Botnik Studios @botnikstudios •OTNIK We used predictive keyboards trained on all seven books to ghostwrite this spellbinding new Harry Potter chapter botnik.org/content/harry-.. THE SPELLBINDINC NATIONAL BESTSELLER Harty Potter yey had and mn wid Hey d The D that d iw He Fer depel h ein l Vd d nery lde wnd ly "Temde ha e layhe y h ide er bdy r nd a The deple b t n tha R d Ro anding oude dhe d andeod Ther d d wiches rknd den adel Te hee f Dh a ed Reched and the Pabuit f adat Lookad Like dogh Harye depel He e i The De E w dl Hay ww hnge du e had ever heen "Lakd M S , de ybed g The Sd de ing o bow d ng lend " VOMENH Hers an nd H lyd D t al pend wa a Jange Re f Ah The G Hll wd w iole moing d w s d y M f opldel Sedg i h d Ho Du id e whool a had de d the 7 e me d D "Thunk E dly ked fdpl Ow the ndakidepd Al eer D E daped ps Then tey MGnagill Due's yk'mpld he he The f h he g pd pd e p buling 4 plad Du e hand had dhe plan magk ceilin Hag Magi good "We're the only people who matter. He's never going to get rid of us," Harry, Hermione, and Ron said in chorus. Le acros andi The floor of the castle seemed like a large pile of magic. The Dursleys had never been to the castle and they were not about to come there in Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash. Harry looked around and then fll down the spiral staircase for the rest of the summer. Re Conf 3BOTNK "I'm Harry Potter," Harry began yelling. "The dark arts harriad ah houl" 11:02 AM · 12 Dec 17

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I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Batman movies and then asked it to write a Batman movie of its own. Here is the first page.

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"I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of your dad trying to sound cool on social media" Nate Silver / Bill de Blasio

gsal toive Nate Silver ed se @NateSilver538 edicheas fa sae de I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of your dad trying to sound cool on social media and then asked it to write a tweet of its Own: Bill de Blasio @BilldeBlasio stan, so consider any #ConDon takes another shot at me. But I'm a total @SadiqKhan comparison a compliment. Plus the Mayor is a much better British doppelgänger than Brexit Bojo.... twitter.com/realdonaldtrum... Show this thread 9:35 AM -3 Jun 2019

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Sounds accurate

Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti l forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Trump's State of the Union and then asked it to write its own Trump's State of the Union. Here is the first page STATE OF THE UNION INT. CLAP ROOM PRESIDENT TRUMP snatches a podium. He is wide tonight The crowd chants the alphabet. People clap at the letters PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Our prescription drugs are full of illegal aliens. Not right! If you are not citizen, go back to D-Day A veteran will give directions PRESIDENT TRUMP My fellow Americones, we live in the areatest country in China Winning all days. More jobs. More opioid. Moon Buzz Aldrin War veterans wave. People clap at the men who know guns PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT D) Buzz Aldrin waves. People clap at the man who knows the moorn To stop immigration the southern border needs a very tall whale History says whales work. Yes. The whale will be steel and also a job PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Two years ago, I ended the terrible Whirl War 2. It wasn't working! I will end women soon. It will bring companies back. Gas. Oil. Ohio People have always been clapping. President Trump widens PRESIDENT TRUMP CONT D Gas, oil, and Ohio wave. They sit with First Ladle Melanio I want peace to join the military Fire a coyote, born or unborn, right at the moon. Blow it up. Give it a job. Make it the whale's boss Moon is white so it is good PRESIDENT TRUMP (CONT'D) Our military is strong. American rockets fire coyotes and the middle east is out of business! Now middle class has 700,000 more birthdays. Cakes are up 5%. Farms grow cakes People clap. Buzz Aldrin does not. The moon is his friend and he knows it will be a bad boss. He cannot clap for this

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Lawyer X Bill of Rights OTP

Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti Follow l forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of lawyer commercials and then asked it to write a lawyer commercial of its own. Here is the first page. LAWYER COMMERCIAL INT. FIRM LAW ROOM A LAWYER stands next to a shelf with books. The books are very wide. They have eaten too many words. LAWYER Have you been hurt in an accidental car? Has the government sold your lungs without asking nicely? Are you Mesothelioma? Answer me! The lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch. LAWYER (CONT 'D) If Bo, you can act entitled for money. I'll help. I graduated from lawn school and all my teachers were bitten by dogs. Words scroll across bottom of the screen. These are cases the lawyer takes: UNFAIR STABBING, ILLEGAL SHOES, MUSIC TOO CANADIAN, SUE THE RAIN, DIVORCE YOUR TOILET, FAKE SONS. LAWYER (CONT D) I have been a lawyer for over 35 weekends and I'm currently dating the Bill of Rights for fun We see the Bill of Rights. It's in ov. The lawyer wil.1 break its heart. There's nothing we can do. LAWYER (CONT D) Let me use it to send your asbestos to court. I will wear two suits and I promise to steal the judge' s gavel for you. The lawyer opens up the jacket of his first suit. Millions of gavels pour out. His promise has worth. LAWYER (CONT'D) My clients never go to jail town We see his past clients: a tornado, a tornado, a tornado. LAWYER (CONT'D) unless you pay us money. Call for a The phone digits appear. It's your social security number Remember, you don't pay any money free use of phone

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Carykh forces a bot

carykh actually did a video on making images from BFDI, here: https://youtu.be/2JOHHjiJafM

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I forced a bot to watch all 236 episodes of Friends and then asked it to write an episode of its own. Here are the first 59 pages.

I forced a bot to watch all 236 episodes of Friends and then asked it to write an episode of its own. Here are the first 59 pages. 10 13 14 16 18 25 26 29 34 38 29 50 57 58 59

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I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Fox News segments and then asked it to write a Fox News segment of its own. Here is the first page.

Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Fox News segments and then asked it to write a Fox News segment of its own. Here is the first page FOX NEWS WHITEMAN (CONT'D) NEWS FLASH: We've got 9/11 calling in to the show. Hello, 9/11? INT. NEWS SEWER LOCK HER UP A news anchor, GUY WHITEMAN, sits on a y Obama just Sandy Hooked Bengha A graphic appears on screen with the tex The graphic dies. Cut back to the anchor Earlier today, Jeb Bush offere for a pound of Muslims and Tru A picture of Jeb Bush eating his own hea The picture dies. Cut back to the anchor WHITEMAN WHITEMAN Lock her up? again! LOCK HER UP OBAMA STOPPED THE HOLOCAUST = ZERO. l dies. Cut back to the anchor WHITEMAN Good call. WHITEMAN (CONT 'D) buy America from President Tr WHITEMAN (CONT'D) Up next, samantha Bee admits she's the ghost of Osama bin Laden and that there's nothing wrong with that. But first, is Amazon gay? We think so and don't need proof. said no no no. blood

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These "I forced a bot to watch X" posts are almost certainly 100% human-written with no bot involved. Here's how you can tell. 1/12

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i forced a bot to let over 1,000 jokes go over its head on twitter and then asked it to write a comment on this tweet. here is the comment.

i forced a bot to let over 1,000 jokes go over its head on twitter and then asked it to write a comment on this tweet. here is the comment. Maximilian von Gaisberg @grunzwanzling42 Follow Replying to @KeatonPatti The script is great, but I highly doubt that a bot actually did write that. The overall structure is way to coherent even for state- of-the-art neural networks. There are also things in there that don't appear in any Saw movie like "Trump" or "Whale" 2:38 PM-3 Mar 2018 8 Retweets 644 Likes

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I forced a bot to read over 1,000 tweets claiming to be scripts written by bots online, then asked it to write a script itself. It wrote these two pages, then hung itself.

l forced a bot to read over 1,000 tweets claiming to be scripts written by bots online, then asked it to write a script itself. It wrote these two pages, then hung itself SITTING ON A Low MOUND, IS CHECKING TWITTER ON BOTH HIS PHONE INULTANEOUSLY VLADIMIR es on their own They all follow the same structure boring greetings that perfectly follow genre a set of tions ADIMİR a string of incoherent uxtapositions that merely exist to ish the lie of being created by a robot, that waste the reader's Several pages spread over ultiple inages, only for the ultimate ine to be a slightly incongruous image that would have been ruous no matter what, and is not improved by all the setup ESTRAGON to be done VLADIMIR nning to come around to that opinion myself. Especially with to jokes on Twitter, where the premise is that nt written by a robot, despite being written by a human q time is part of the genre, as if to let the reader thinkoh obviously a robot wouldn't have a straight throughline from to joke."But if the audience already knows it's a Joke, it's in re a piece ESTRAGON t's inherently wrong with a joke having a ie as part of its k you're just jealous that they get more retweets than your treatises on comedy VLADIMIR VLADIMIR joke wouldn't be funny without it being framed as being ereated ve actor, then is it really furny at all? The premise "a robot expect conedy to actually make me laugh! lis" is just asking the audience to lower their standards ESTRAGON ESTRAGON I think they're funny. So do thousands of other people, ally? Isn't that just part of the setup of the joke? "But I AM Pagliacci" isn't funny without the premise that a man a doctor, yet implies no dishonesty by asking the reader to : that a man went to the doctor ntly. I don't think we're going to agree on this one g to be done think of only one thing VLADIMIR VLADIMIR rue. But the joke is still funny if you don't believe that the : to the doctor. Is the sane true for the robot joke, if you : as a joke with a robot in the premise, and not a joke created ON STARTS BREAKDANCING ot? Is it really? ESTRAGON ENE sing you don't think it is

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I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page.

Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Olive Garden commercials and then asked it to write an Olive Garden commercial of its own. Here is the first page E GARDEN COMMERCIAL FRIEND 3 Leave without me. I'm home OLIVE GARDEN RESTAURANT WAITRESS Gluten Classico. From the kitchen oup of FRIENDS laughs at a dinner table. A WAITR eliver what could be considered food : Gluten Classico. We believe the waitress tl he kitchen. We have no reason not to believ WAITRESS Pasta nachos for you 4 says nothing ee the pasta nachos. They're warm and defeated FRIEND 1 PRIEND 1 What is wrong, Friend 4? The menu is here WAITRESS 4 says nothing Lasagna winge with extra Italy FRIEND 2 ee the laeagna wings. There'e more Italy than ne Friend 4, what is wrong, Friend 4? FRIEND 2 I shall eat Italian citizens. 4 smiles wide. Her mouth is full of secret WAITRESS Unlimited stick. (wet voice) Olive Garden. When You're Here, You're Here. ee the unlimited stick. It is infinite. It is al

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Tired of waiting for the next season of Game of Thrones? Given up on the hope that George RR Martin will ever finish the next book? Worry not, I forced a bot to learn every single book from the ASOIAF series, and asked it to write the most likely ending

Tired of waiting for the next season of Game of Thrones? Given up on the hope that George RR Martin will ever finish the next book? Worry not, I forced a bot to learn every single book from the ASOIAF series, and asked it to write the most likely ending This is an extract. Birds festered in the cro wd and alag-about arekery. .14id. blood squirted out of Tyrion Lannister, as his shoulders slumped, hard, against the King. They struck her face between two fish as easily as a beetroot that spilled over the sea. The bloody trees were moving away from Westeros, and they roamed the North. All Bran had to do was no thing. His Aya s looking at Grezbeard's wagons hanging from his eyes, he wheeled them back and forth until they made her skin crawl. confortable. Iyrion sighed a great deal, as heaa dead. "ell thia ia sbeurd", he refleeted. The King pointed to ㄾ child, and aid ·lt 1 feeble and helpless and I abould coaand it to die. The Kle豸 was called Cutjack wa8 the Lord of Light. sround the Prince, anorted, and sallow manhood. "Perbsps you1 nilk it?" he asked. Arza threw is in his eyes. "No".,he thought politelz The Iron Throne wae gro ing taller with every stroke, and Jon could hear the laughter of his uncle follow him to Dorne like the shrieks of a vengeful moth. The children exchanged uneasy glances. His sword hilt horse?"ced nd oiled" ..Yotg will oot be Queen! he relled, and swept her oush off her face. The naid was dead aad ber Bunder

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I Forced a Bot - Batman the all-time orphan Page 1

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