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Ok, Jacob Black.
I wish for archeotech.

Granted. It's the STC for the construction of Teddy Bears.

I wish for a med-kit.

Granted but it's empty.

I wish it would stop refusing, so I could win for once.

Granted, the Master core finally stops refusing to die, and you finally beat level 9 classic mode in smash.
I wish the Dark Eldar would stop.

Granted. The Dark Eldar retreat all of their forces and halt all of their operations against the Imperium. The Tyranids have unexpectedly quintupled their military strength and are going all out on everyone, including the Imperium. May the God-Emperor help us all.

I wish that the previous user's wish was to grant this wish.

Wish granted, but because the Dark Eldar didnt stop, they learned how to tame hive tyrants. See what you did?
I wish for determination.

Granted. You have determination… to become subject to the forces of Chaos.

I wish I had a 21-sided die.

Granted, but all the numbers say 1

I wish for a bacon sandwich

Granted, the bacon tastes like the worst thing ever.

I wish Chara became a flower

Granted, but flowers become Chara.

I wish for a Christmas Miracle.

Granted, you "miraculously" get cancer.

I wish for a new PC.

Granted. You get a new PC from the 90s. All of its components (heck even the case as well) are broken and/or defective. It's also delivered by a Politically Correct deliveryman that won't stop lecturing you.

I wish I the world was converted into bacon.

Granted this globe of the world in now converted into bacon.

I wish for a new striped shirt

Its Green and purple
I wish my stomach ache would go away

Granted. Your stomach ache is gone… as well as your stomach.

I wish that the next user's wish was for the previous user's wish to wish that this thread was converted into a "Corrupt a Corrupt Wish" thread.

Granted, what I wished was that Kuro Serpentina's wish would've been that this thread was converted into a "Corrupt a Corrupt Wish" thread.
Was. I changed my mind.

I wish Joecartoon would be making stuff the way he did back in the early days.

Wish granted, but the Ads are unblockable and 30 seconds long

I wish I could listen to some real music

Granted, you'll go deaf 5 minutes afterwards.

I wish for a can to nibble on.

Granted. You get a lead can to nibble on. Have fun.

I wish for a bag of steel ball bearings. (Don't ask why.)

Granted. The bag is hidden somewhere in a 5 mile radius around you.
I wish for a box of Gorilla Munch cereal.

Granted. You have a box of Gorilla Munch cereal. As you open it- BLAM!
A stout cigar-toting human pops out of the box.

I wish the world was an icosahedron instead of a geoid.

Granted… until the universe realises your full of shit and ungrants it

I wish for YARANAIKA

Granted. Not only a stranger did something weird to you, he also fed you with a disgusting soup

I wish Teen Titan Go ends.

Granted, but only to be replaced by a worse perversion of another cherished childhood show.

I wish for mashed potatoes.

Granted. You are now Mash Potatoes
I want Megas XLR to return

Granted. Megas XLR returns to television. Huzzah!
Unfortunately, you're also rendered blind, deaf and dumb.

I wish I had four lights.

Granted,you now have four lights.
However,they blind you with their brightness.

I wish for the nations of the world to put aside their differences and pursue a common goal for the better of humanity.

Granted. The nations of the world put aside their differences and begin to work together on what they mutually believe is a beneficial goal for humanity: The Destruction of the Internet.

I wish Cave Johnson was President of the United States of America and the Moon.

Wish granted but all Lemon are banned

I wish that my room would fill up with a unknown black liquid

Granted. It's crude oil and the Murifats invade your room.

I wish I knew how to make good MIDI files.

Granted,however all programs that can play MIDI files or convert them into mp3 and similar filetypes no longer exist,therefore no one will ever know about the quality of your MIDIs.

I wish i was a fighter pilot in shoot em up

Granted. You keep having to relive your death over and over… as a fighter pilot in a shoot em up. (The enemies also having homing missiles. Cheating bastards.)

I wish I could bend the spoon.

Granted, but now you automatically bend EVERY spoon you grab

I wish for a ak-74

Granted, but it fires randomly.

I wish for the greatest avocado the world has ever seen.

Granted, but it tastes awful

I wish for a Pepsi

Granted, but it is frozen and you must wait until it thaws. Then it's flavor is gone.

I wish for some X-Rated Porn of Pyrocynical

Granted. There is X-rated porn of Pyrocynical (whatever that is)… the only copy of it is on a thumb drive on a collision course with the event horizon of a nearby black hole.

I wish I could specialize my paladin in the skill of Dwarvish Speed Polka.

Granted, but all your stats go to shit and your warped to the highest level dungeon
I wish for a cubic foot of oxygen

OK, but suddenly it explodes! roll 1d8 blast damage.

I wish for a stand

Granted, you get a table stand,however,three of its legs are broken and it's going to explode in 5 seconds.

I wish i had a good internet connection.

Granted. You have a good internet connection but your ISP has all of your favorite sites blocked.

I wish the moon would have a 24-hour rotational period. (So we can see the dark side of it.)

Granted, but now the world is flooded by a giant tsunami. Since everyone drowns, no one can see it.

I wish people stopped using autism as an insult.

Granted. However, spastic, cripple and mong' are used more frequently.

I wish I wasn't spoilerd for The Force Awakens.

Granted, but you are now spoiled the plot line and twists for Episodes VIII and IX.

I wish winter never existed.

Granted. You are swarmed by wasps, mosquitos and moths because there is no winter that kills them dummy.

I wish to be a commissar.

Granted, however it's 1944 and I'm working for the Nazis.

I wish people would post here more often. IS GOOD THREAD.

Granted, but now nobody does anything but post in this thread and nothing is ever accomplished

I wish I wasn't a dust pile anymore

Granted,you are an ash pile now

I wish TO BECOME A GOD

Granted. You ascend to the rank of demigod and the Varakhut immediately stomp you.

I wish for good morale.

Granted, but you had to execute the entire regiment. Now you must solo an entire traitor legion.

I wish for a BAAAAAAAAAAAAANEBLAAAAAAAAAADE