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O Anonymous 11/20/19(Wed)21:20:29 No.814515219 >>814518531 Who wants to hear the story how I single handedly got my school shut down for a month when I was in high school? This will be several posts so bump the thread if you are interested >be me, sophomore >a loner for the most part, have a few friends but they aren't that close >ride bike everywhere >my mom is preggo with a girl due in a few months >dad is at work a lot (gets called in a lot so I get to spend actual time with him maybe once a week) >one Saturday mom is having baby shower, dad is at work >guess guys aren't allowed to be at baby showers >mom gives me 40 bucks and tells me to go to the mall or movies and get food or whatever while she has the baby shower >ride bike to mall, don't really know what to do >walking around different stores, end up in Spencers >looking at all the different gag toys when I see it >Ass spray >spray a little in the air and smell >putrid If you have never had the displeasure of smelling this stuff, imagine leaving a cooked egg and a massive wet s--- in a jar for a good week and then opening it to take a wiff. It's horrible Pone of the worst smells I could think of >first thing that comes to my mind is weaponizing this stuff >millions of ideas are flooding my head at once >this is too good to not pass up >buy it >for once I couldn't wait for the weekend to end and go back to school >Monday, in first period class >l am wearing a long hoodie with my hand tucked into the sleeve, with my hand gently holding the spray bottle You have to be really cautious with this stuff. One mispray will leave your clothes wreaking with the stench. This stuff is no joke, it's really strong. I'm surprised you don't have to be 18 to buy it, thať's how powerful it is. >just looking around the room waiting for an opportunity to spray something >get a better idea >about a minute before class is over I nonchalantly walk by the door and give a single spray >just one >no one caught me >30 seconds later a kid from the back yells "Yo did someone rip ass?" >silently snicker >more kids from the back smell it, then the middle, it eventually makes its way to the front >everyone rushes to get out of the classroom >a dude literally shoved a girl out of the way just to get out of class first >all of this from just one spray >no one person should have the power to cause this much chaos, yet I posses this gift in the palm of my hand >the class incident spreads around school by lunch time >I get excited as I quietly eat my sandwich hearing some classmate talk about how awful the smell was >few days pass, I've been contemplating different uses for spray >today was a rainy day >during lunch everyone packs into one of the buildings that has 2 floors >bingo >about 200 kids on the upper floor >I was talking to one of my only friends, we were at the very end of the hallway >decide it's too crowded up here, we should move to the bottom floor >I haven't told him about the ass spray, I don't intend to >not really close with anyone, can't trust him to keep a secret >as we are walking down the hallway I'm cradling the spray in my hand tucked into my hoodie sleeve >As we are walking and talking I'm giving the occasional spray, no one is noticing >finally the commotion starts at the end of the hall where we started >it's quickly making its way towards us >everyone is distracted, which gives me the opportunity to spray some more > finally friend starts smelling it and covering his nose >l play along and act like I'm disturbed as well > at this point everyone is trying to rush downstairs >kids getting knocked over, everyone is screaming >teachers are coming out of their classrooms to assess the commotion >they obviously figure it out right away >friend is trying to get downstairs too >l'm just watching all the disorder I've created >fight off the urge to give an evil laugh >next week >talk of the smelly building dies down >perfect time to stir the pot >over the weekend I bought a box of disposable gloves so stench doesn't stay on my hand >thinking of my next victim >at lunch hear Haliee and her friends >class hottie but 10/10 bitch >typical doesn't show you any kindness unless you are a jock or as hot as her type >having typical popular girl discussion, basically just trash talking everyone that isn't her >time to ruin the one most important thing to her, her hair >take straw and some paper, run to bleachers and hide under them >glove up and soak a paper wad with the spray >shove it into the straw, use a twig to get it into the middle >toss gloves, run back over to tables >her back is facing me, quickly launch spitball to her hair >it rests just perfectly into her hair >gave it about a minute >"did one of you fart?" >the girls get up and move, but the smell is attached to Hailee >they find out the smell is coming from her >specifically her hair >Hailee starts crying >everyone noticing commotion, they make comments on her hair >she runs to bathroom crying and embarrassed >she's now known as the girl who doesn't wash her hair >tfw you disrupt the social hierarchy of your class with one spitball >was fond of the spitball idea, use that several more times over the next week >landed it in people's hoodies and backpacks, they all would eventually notice the smell >it's like a discrete projectile fartbomb >this stuff is so strong, it was like engaging in chemical warfare >one lunch I notice Bryce >Hailee was an angel compared to this meathead >football player, huge bully, specifically made nasty comments towards kids with known disabilities right in earshot >it's a Friday night, home game tonight >perfect time to test out my new device >same concept as the spitballs, but I poured some of the spray in a squirt gun >if one spray can clear out a room, imagine soaking someone's clothes in it >luckily I also know where his locker is >l don't even need to break in, the lockers have little holes like pic related >right after school I run to the locker room >all his football gear is in there. Pads, pants, and jersey >pull out the squirt gun and unload over every piece of gear I can hit >l go until there is nothing in the squirt gun >the smell is leaking out of the locker already >put squirt gun in plastic bag, back in backpack to conceal smell >this all went down in the span of maybe 45 seconds, I got in and out quickly >game starts in 2 hours, better go get a ticket to the game and enjoy the show is about to start >game >unfortunately I don't know what the reaction was in the locker room, but I know he isn't going to get the smell off before the game >visiting team is already on the field >cheerleaders and pep squad doing their thing >finally our team comes running out >Bryce is trailing about 10 feet behind the rest of the team >my biggest regret this night is not recording the game >kick off, visiting teams ball >Bryce tackles the >immediately shoves Bryce off him >Ref runs over to give a penalty, gives Bryce a nasty look >I s--- you not, I swear I lip read from the ref you smell like s--- >l'm giggling in the stands like a weirdo >Game continues, eventually we have the ball >Bryce is going >guy behind him is crouched down with Bryce, maybe 2 feet away from him >l must have squirted his pants thoroughly >He's delaying from calling the hike >He stands up, takes his helmet off and vomits right on the field >crowd is disgusted >I was dying from laughter eguy hike the ball >Game gets delayed while the field gets cleaned up >coach benches Bryce >The team and cheerleaders don't even want to be near him >Eventually coach kicks Bryce out the game and into the locker room to change >crowd is confused as hell >meanwhile I'm sitting in the stands proud to be the one who ruined that bully's reputation >also we lost the game >after the squirt gun incident, I was out of the spray, so l ordered 2 bottles online >the chemical attacks would be put on hold until they ship >that following Monday, everyone knows what happened >He is humiliated. His football friends hate him, girls don't even want to talk to him, no one can let him live down what happened >he sits by himself now >I so wish I had friends to tell, but it's better this way >anyone who knows could reveal my identity >over the next week everyone is talking about the smells potentially being a prank >my name is never dropped, I'm way too under the radar >or so they think >they all suspect someone popular doing this since it has mostly been cool kids getting hit >this needs to go down as a legend at this school, but I need a name >fart boy >nah, lame >sinister stink >getting better >no no, I got it >"S--- Storm" >from this day forward, S--- Storm will haunt the school. S--- Storm strikes when you least expect it >just in the knick of time, 2 fresh bottles of ass spray just came in the mail >I'm spreading the word of S--- Storm through several random chemical attacks >During lunch while no one was looking, I'd open their backpacks and spray a few times >l'd go to the locker room while it was empty and spray someone's clothes (not to the extent I hit Bryce with) >if people left their hoodies unattended, you guessed it >l prewrote a bunch of hand written notes that l'd leave with every single person >"You've Been Nose Punched By The Cynical S--- Storm" >It doesn't take long for word to spread >It's even caught wind with the faculty and teachers >We get an announcement on the speakers one day from the principal >to paraphrase who ever is making the entire school smell, when you are caught you will be punished to the full extent of our school code" >that won't stop me >the reign of S--- Storm has only begun >After that announcement, ease up on all the attacks >not because I was scared, no no >because homecoming was on its way >of course, it was all part of the plan >I had to put everyone at a state of ease, make them feel like the prank was over >oh no, this is just the calm before the (s---) Storm >I went ahead and purchased 10 bottles of Ass Spray >here was the plan >l knew exactly where the ventilators for the auditorium were, where the homecoming was being held >during lunch the Friday before homecoming, I walk into the room with the ventilators, tied a shoe lace around the doorknob, and hid an old backpack with an old scream mask for Halloween I used years ago and a change of clothes (hoodie, jeans, old running shoes). >l also hid a wire hanger in the indoor bleachers >This will come into play later >In total I had 11 and a half bottles of the spray >get 10 plastic bags and 10 old socks >put the socks in the bags, dump an entire bottle of ass spray per bag. >they were completely soaked in the spray. I straight up almost vomited during this part from the concentrated smell of ass. >Seal the bags, those all go into a Fanny pack as well as some extra rubber gloves and the remaining bottle and a half of spray >The planning over, now to carry on with the execution >It's the night of homecoming >l got my suit on with my fanny pack tucked in >l get in, the place is packed with people from all grades >probably around 400 people >get into the bleachers, grab my hanger >thankful no one moved it >walk outside the back exit, walk over to the door with ventilators inside >it's locked, as expected >untwist the hanger so it's one long hook >shove it under the move it around and twist it a couple times >yank it out, the shoelace was raveled around the hook >pull the shoelace, opening the door from the inside >get in and close the door >hard part is over >since the door is locked from the outside, I can take my time executing this next part >change over my clothes to my hoodie and mask >take all the socks out of their bags and have them all ready in the fanny pack on my side >god the stench is putrid >gather everything into the backpack, including hanger and shoelace >glove up and get the remainder bottles of ass spray out >l pour them right into the ventilators >it'll take a minute to hit >only one more step of the plan >I step out the ventilator room and am outside the back of the auditorium, wearing my hoodie, mask, and backpack >my fanny pack is open with my socks >take a deep breath >It's time to run like hell >I charged in there like a maniac >throwing the smelly socks as I was running across the auditorium >it was a 2 front attack, by air and ground >both executed by me >everyone was scared >seeing a guy in a hoodie and bloody scream mask sprinting towards them would scare anyone >I wasn't so much aiming for people as I was spreading the socks to maximize stink >although the socks were dripping wet, I'm sure people were getting sprayed by the wet socks getting tossed around >I throw my last sock and charge out of there as quick as possible >the adrenaline was real, it felt like I was in there for maybe 5 minutes, couldn't have been longer than 20-30 seconds in reality >as I was running out I heard everyone going a------ over the smell >I couldn't stay for the after math, I couldn't afford getting caught >as I'm running away from the school I'm taking off everything and shoving it into different peoples trash cans >I ran 3 miles back home, I've never felt a thrill like that >sneak inside, hop in shower >I check Facebook and see people from school posting about what happened >"S--- Storm just ruined our homecoming" >"I just had to trash my suit because of S--- Storm" >"thank you for making homecoming interesting, S--- Storm" >School had to close down for a month so they can get rid of the stench >two weeks we had off, other two we had to get portable classrooms >apparently those ventilators also leaked into the classes >made the school news, someone "anonymously" said I ruined high school for them (99% certain it was Bryce) >Junior year >S--- Storm was more of a vigilante at this point, l'd hit kids who I deemed deserved it >Bryce is trying to make his way up the food chain by bullying again >sad enough it was working. He was making girls laugh and he's socializing with all the cool kids again >this time I was going to hit home for him >literally >At this point Bryce had a car >spoiled f--- >after school took note of the car he drove >knew the general area he lived in but not the exact house >ride around with my bike until I found it >s--- is about to hit the fan >I had no classes with Bryce this year so he wouldn't notice if I took a day off school >dumb meathead left his window cracked, thinks living on the second story wouldn't matter >S--- Storm has already established he can hit you from above >actually offended homecoming didn't leave that impression on him >after him and parents leave, I climb on roof and open his window >obviously using rubber gloves to not leave fingerprints >I spray the f--- out of everything in his room >clothes, bed, pillow, closet >I saw his cat chilling on his night stand just observing >spray the f--- out of his cat >l go home and play Xbox for the rest of the day >next day at school I hear the news >"S--- STORM GOT HIS CAT >kekles >ride my bike by his house after school >2 vans with professional cleaners parked outside his house

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S--- Storm


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☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?
Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 7KXnZ81d) Republicucks ▼ Settings Mobile Home 11/24/24(Sun)17:17:53 No.489470595 Tom Cotton Threatens to Invade Holland to Protect Israel's Government From ICC Arrest Warrant Phillip Nieto Nov 21st, 2024, 4:18 pm 796 comments X Post reddit MR. COTTON 242 KB PNG >"America first" >"One of our allies doesn't like our presi--- I mean, Israeli prime minister? We must invade that terrorist state!!!!" I wonder who really is in charge of America at this point.
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Uploaded Dec 07, 2019 at 03:30PM EST

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