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Awkward Locker Room Enounter cloudfreed kincidae One day I walk into the locker room after gym and all the guys have their arms bent and are talking like valley girls. They say "hey act gay with us" and I'm p----- at this moment in time and I'm like "well how do gay guys act?" They were all like "you know, like this" and proceeded to talk like idiots and swing their hips as they walked. I finally snapped and I decided to make the awkward straight guys squirm (majority of which were in nothing but boxers). I said "no they don't, gay guys act just like everyone else. I know for a fact that there are three gay men in this locker room right now and you don't know who any of them are" (which is a lie, there are none besides me). Well suddenly everyone flipped s---. Every guy is a fifty foot radius scrambled to cover their junk and started yelling. I heard things like 'you're the f------ f-----, aren't you?" and "quit looking at my c--- you queer." Guys who have been friends forever began to turn on each other. Two guys had similar shorts and mixed them up when hurrying to cover their crotches. Everyone was screaming and yelling and I just calmly change and walk out trying my god awful best not to burst out laughing. People were losing their balance and falling over while trying to pull up their pants. The teachers heard the commotion and rushed in as I made my way out. The sheer heteronormativity of this moment disgusts me on an existential level but Jesus this was so hysterical. This is one of my crowning achievements and I feel nothing but pride about how I caused utter chaos with two sentences HETEROSEXUAL MEN ARE SO FRAGILE

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tumblr heterosexual homosexual fragility takin you punks down

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Hiimdaisy is like SpongeBob in a way. Like, their pictures can be relevant to some situations.

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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Awkward Locker Room Enounter cloudfreed kincidae One day I walk into the locker room after gym and all the guys have their arms bent and are talking like valley girls. They say "hey act gay with us" and I'm p----- at this moment in time and I'm like "well how do gay guys act?" They were all like "you know, like this" and proceeded to talk like idiots and swing their hips as they walked. I finally snapped and I decided to make the awkward straight guys squirm (majority of which were in nothing but boxers). I said "no they don't, gay guys act just like everyone else. I know for a fact that there are three gay men in this locker room right now and you don't know who any of them are" (which is a lie, there are none besides me). Well suddenly everyone flipped s---. Every guy is a fifty foot radius scrambled to cover their junk and started yelling. I heard things like 'you're the f------ f-----, aren't you?" and "quit looking at my c--- you queer." Guys who have been friends forever began to turn on each other. Two guys had similar shorts and mixed them up when hurrying to cover their crotches. Everyone was screaming and yelling and I just calmly change and walk out trying my god awful best not to burst out laughing. People were losing their balance and falling over while trying to pull up their pants. The teachers heard the commotion and rushed in as I made my way out. The sheer heteronormativity of this moment disgusts me on an existential level but Jesus this was so hysterical. This is one of my crowning achievements and I feel nothing but pride about how I caused utter chaos with two sentences HETEROSEXUAL MEN ARE SO FRAGILE

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forever a anon

forever a anon

Jul 26, 2015 at 08:37PM EDT

Did the whole bus stand up and clap?

+78

Rie

Rie

Jul 26, 2015 at 08:24PM EDT

I liked the start but

>heteronormativity
hooh boy more buzz words

>the last comment
Sure, unlike the brave strong womyn of Tumblr who cant get past certain articles/images/whatever without trigger warnings

Fuck me sideways. And you too, OP.

+56

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